Here are over 100 ideas to help you keep monogamy hot!
1. Find out what music your lover likes, and play it.
2. Sing to each other, especially if you can't sing. Listen to a song that turns you on and write the words out so you will remember them. Then without any music sing that song as a surprise gift to your lover. Watch the tears come to their eyes.
3. Find out what scents your lover likes, e.g., perfumes and especially essential oils. Get an essential oil diffuser.
4. Wear the clothes your lover likes. Try something wild in latex.
5. Serve the food your lover likes.
6. Select locations for lovemaking that your partner likes.
7. Prepare yourself for stimulating conversation. Do some homework if necessary to have something interesting to talk about.
8. Give lots of compliments on a regular basis.
9. Compliment you lover in front of others.
10. Tell each other all the things you like and appreciate about each other. Do this every day.
11. Show your body to your lover. Let them look as long as they like.
12. Take your clothes off while your lover watches.
13. Tease your partner with partial nudity at unexpected times, like when your mother or children are in the other room. Be artful and naughty about it so only your lover sees you.
14. Explore each other's bodies with your eyes, hands and tongues.
15. Hold a mirror for your partner to look at their own genitals.
16. Women, touch your lover's genitals with sighs of desire from time to time, even when out in public (discretely).
17. Men, nibble on your partner's neck with sighs of desire from time to time, even when out in public.
18. Give each other a sensual massage. Try short 5 minute full body massages on a daily basis, as well as longer versions (one hour or longer) when time permits. Use an exotic massage oil. You can mix some yourself with an excellent essential oil in a base of first cold press grapeseed (canola) oil.
19. Create a temple-of-love space in anticipation of your lovemaking. Make your space beautiful. Keep it simple.
20. Create your own rituals & ceremonies. Keep it simple.
21. Tell each other what turns you on. If they don't know they can't give it to you.
22. Read and/or write erotic poetry and stories.
23. Watch erotic, romantic movies and videos.
24. Take a bath or shower together. Even small tubs are great fun. Make a mess.
25. Wash each other's bodies. Be kind and gentle and provocative, or raucous and wild, whatever you're both into.
26. Wash each other's feet. Use a small dishpan and some wonderful natural soap. Rub on an aromatic foot lotion.
27. Suck on your partner's squeaky-clean toes.
28. Feed each other food and drink. Use your fingers. Make a mess.
29. Read stories out loud to each other.
30. Wear costumes and masks as part of your foreplay. Oooh, mystery!
31. Tie each other up. Men especially love to be tied up.
32. Paint each other's bodies. Use washable/edible body paint or chocolate sauce you make yourself or buy.
33. Wash each other's hair.
34. Give each other pedicures.
35. Prepare sensual meals together. Fondle and tease each other as you work/play.
36. Watch the sun come up or go down, or the moon go across the water.
37. Lie out under the stars. Sleep out under the stars.
38. Make flower arrangements together, fresh or dried.
39. Send each other erotic post cards without any special occasion.
40. Write love letters to each other.
41. Say the words "I love you. I need you. I want you."
42. Whisper words of adoration in your lover's ears before, during and after love making.
43. Talk "dirty" in your lover's ears in the heat of passion during your lovemaking.
44. Hold hands in public.
45. Go on picnics.
46. Call each other by "sucky" pet names.
47. Make foreplay go on and on and on and on and....
48. Men, help your woman come to orgasm before intercourse - at least some times!
49. Men, be sure she is wet, before you put your golden rod into her fig pocket!
50. Romance each other for hours, with intercourse on and off the whole time. Men, learn to delay ejaculation!
51. Cuddle after intercourse. Look into each other's eyes. Say words of love and adoration. Thank the God and Goddess for their favors.
52. Cry in front of each other.
53. Share what you are feeling. Risk being vulnerable.
54. Try different lovemaking positions. Experiment.
55. Try different lovemaking locations. Experiment.
56. Use love toys. Experiment.
57. Laugh during intercourse. Laugh before intercourse. Laugh after intercourse.
58. Offer unexpected gifts. Keep it simple, but thoughtful. Pick the right thing, not the biggest or most expensive thing.
59. Remember special occasions. Special occasions should be special!
60. Say please and thank you for sexual favors and for many small things each day. "Whether the pretty woman grants or withholds her favors, she always likes to be asked for them." Ovid
61. Surprise your lover with the unexpected. Experiment.
62. Try something new. Experiment.
63. Try something dangerous. Experiment.
64. Try something outrageous. Experiment.
65. Try something kinky. Experiment.
66. Try something you are afraid of. Experiment.
67. Try something forbidden. Experiment.
68. Share your fantasies. Act them out with each other. Don't ever share fantasies about someone else with your lover!
69. Masturbate each other.
70. Masturbate in front of each other.
71. Dress up for a romantic dinner.
72. Eat dinner by candlelight.
73. Make love by candlelight.
74. Put on little skits (acts) for each other. Experiment.
75. Be foolish and playful. Experiment.
76. Drop something that is really important for you to do, and make love instead.
77. Call when you are away and say "I miss you terribly. I can't wait to get home to hold you."
78. Talk "dirty" over the phone to each other.
79. Shop for sex toys and lingerie together.
80. Ladies, wear garter belt and stockings instead of pantyhose.
81. Put blindfolds on each other during foreplay and intercourse, sometimes.
82. Role play: innocent high school student, slut, nurse, stripper, master, slave, bad boy or girl, etc.
83. Look into each other's eyes, if possible until tears follow the opening of your heart in love.
84. Match the rhythm of your breathing during lovemaking.
85. Take rapid breaths to heat up your excitement.
86. Take long, deep, slow breaths to maintain a high level of excitement without going over into orgasm. Prolonging the orgasmic excitement leads to ecstasy.
87. Just hold each other.
88. Talk where one only listens. The one who listens does not try to take any responsibility, does not try to intervene or "fix" anything. Just listen. This is harder to do than it sounds.
89. Give each other a 10-second kiss when coming and going.
90. Make out like high school kids, without intercourse.
91. Practice Tantra Sacred Sex muscle control, breathing and visualization together. If you don't know how, take a workshop together.
92. Give each other flowers regularly. Men love to receive flowers too!
93. Have fresh flowers around as often as possible.
94. Have lots of green healthy plants in the house.
95. Notice all the little things you do for each other, that you regularly take for granted, and let each other know how important they are to you. Show your appreciation.
96. Spend time remembering wondrous past experiences together when you were happy and joyous.
97. Take turns leading when dancing slow.
98. In conversation always use loving names when referring to your genitals, e.g., jade stalk, wand of light, mystery cave, succulent flower, etc.
99. Make plans for the future.
100. Talk about spending the rest of your life together.
101. Write out your vision for the kind of relationship you want to create together.
102. Display your relationship vision/dream where you will see it often.
103. Serve each other breakfast in bed.
104. Sleep together NAKED! Curl around each other like spoons. Roll over together to change positions in the night.
105. In the morning when you wake up lying naked together, the man goes between the woman's legs. If he is not aroused, he will use the soft entry by wetting his penis with saliva (or any suitable lubricant such as water based or silicone lubricants, or any cooking oil) and inserting it into her vagina. Lie still with your eyes open and match your breathing for 2-5 minutes.
Al Link and Pala Copeland own and operate 4 Freedoms Relationship Tantra. They regularly host Tantra Sacred Loving weekends near Ottawa Canada, and weeklong retreats in exotic locations around the planet. For more information call toll free from Canada or USA: 1-800-684-5308 International long distance: 1-819-689-5308. Visit their website http://www.tantra-sex.com/ or send email: firstname.lastname@example.org Their book, Soul Sex: Tantra for Two, is published by New Page Books, 2003. http://www.tantra-sex.com/soulsex.html