While engaging in conversations with friends and
co-workers, how often do you feel that the other person has
truly heard what you've said?
If you want to succeed in social settings, relationships,
and business, one way to ensure your success is to be a
There are a few simple rules you can follow to help you
become a better listener, therefore enhancing your
1. Stop talking.
It sounds very simplistic but if you are constantly
talking, how can others express themselves? Make an effort
to shift the focus of the conversation to the other person.
Be aware of your own body language. Match the other
person's body language by leaning forward when they lean
Attention to small details will give the person you are
speaking with a feeling that you truly hear what they are
saying and that you are genuinely interested in their
If you sit with your arms crossed, constantly check your
watch, or stare out the window, the person with whom you
are speaking will feel that you are distant and
2. Pay attention to the tone of your voice.
Even if you are only giving brief answers or asking short
questions, the tone of your voice plays a major part in
If your tone suggests a condescending attitude, boredom, or
anger, you will lose your audience and people will no
longer want to spend time speaking with you or listening to
what you have to say.
A respectful, preferably friendly tone will allow you to
communicate efficiently and earn you the respect of others.
3. In order to move the conversation forward, ask questions
to clarify or invite additional information.
Questions indicate that you are fully attentive to what is
being said and that you have a real interest in the speaker's
Give your full attention to the speaker. When you show
others that you want to hear them, they will automatically
grant you the same courtesy.
Maintain eye contact and always face the speaker. You will
be able to express your own views much more effectively if
you have the full attention of your audience.
If you give your full attention, you will certainly receive
the same in return.
4. Engage in light, pleasant conversation as often as you
engage in meaningful, direct conversation.
If you always guide the conversation in the direction of
achieving your goal, you will leave the impression of
distance and a superior attitude.
You will get a much more favorable response if you relate
to others on a personal level as well as in a professional
or authoritative manner.
People want to feel appreciated and unique. Make a point to
address each person you encounter and do so in a positive,
friendly manner. Conversation skills include treating
others as you would like to be treated.
Good conversation skills include much more than simply
speaking with others. Listening, good body language,
questioning, pleasantries, and mutual respect are important
elements in any conversation and are also personality
traits exhibited by successful people.
You can improve your image and your ability to communicate
if you follow these simple guidelines when communicating
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report:10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. This report reveals the secret strategies all high achievers use to communicate with charm and impact. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at: http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm