The pupils of the eyes will dilate (enlarge) up to four times their normal size when excited. An angry, negative mood causes the pupils to contract (become smaller). When a person is being dishonest or holding back information, their eyes will meet yours less than 1/3 of the time.
To build good rapport with someone, your gaze should meet theirs 60% to 70% of the time.
BUSINESS GAZE - Imagine there is a triangle on the other person's forehead. Keep your gaze directed on this area. This will create a serious atmosphere. The other person will know you mean business.
SOCIAL GAZE - When the gaze drops below the other person's eye level, a social atmosphere develops. Look at the triangular area below the eyes (include the nose and mouth).
INTIMATE GAZE - This gaze goes across the eyes and below the chin to other parts of the body. When close it forms a triangle from the eyes to both sides of the chest or breasts. From a distance it is from the eyes to the crotch. If the person is interested, he/she will return the gaze.
The type of gaze you use in face to face encounters have powerful results. Use the appropriate gaze for this situation.
To control a person's gaze, use a pen or point to a visual aid, as you explain something for them. Next, lift the pointer from the visual aid and hold it between their eyes and yours. This will help them to see and hear what you want them to.
Research has shown that of the information relayed to a person's brain, 80% comes through the eyes, 9% through the ears, and 4% through other senses.
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With 8 years of teaching and 15 years in Toastmasters, Kathy Thompson really enjoys writing and speaking. She has a B. S. in Business Communications and has taught her programs around the country at various businesses and Adult Education Centers.
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