There are a lot of young men who find it difficult to go out and meet new girls on days when they have a quarell with their parents.
There are also a lot of older men who can go out easily and have success.
Why is that so?
The behaviour taught from father to son carries in a son's mind his whole life.
Many of our ideas and beliefs our parents put into us are essential for life.
For example our parents teach us how to cross the street or they taught us how to read. Without good parental guidance we would not survive as children, they wish us best all the time.
But unconciously they may install a big feeling of inadequacy in a joung boys mind that will give him problems all his life.
Have you ever had your mother tell you:"Your shirt is soo dirty!, you cannot go out like that!?"
After a million such remarks you will feel accustomed to feeling bad about yourself if you don't have a clean,nice shirt. No joking!
It may sound funny but think about it, it happens to all of us. Those kind of remarks seem totally unimportant now that you are living far away from your parents, thousands of miles away and you see them only during hollidays.
But when you are not wearing your best clothes and you meet a girl you feel attracted to, the internal program put into your mind by your family when you were still a little child and coudn't resist your parents advice will start working, it will start working soo much that you will feel bad about yourself and you will not be able to do your best and get the girl attracted to you.
So it may happen that even though you are much older, your mothers remarks are having an impact now on your confidence.
Do a little experiment to see are you under influnece of what I call society programing.
Remember how your parents always taught you that you have to pay attention when eating biscuits so pieces don't end up on the floor. I want you to take a few bisciuts in your hands and sit on your couch, then I want you to start twisting them slightly in your palms so little peaces start falling to the floor. Are you feeling pressure in your head? Are you feeling uncomfortable?
Maybe still no.
When you are in a company of other people I want you to do the samething.
Are you feeling huge pressure build up "in the air".
That means you are now under influnence of manners that were put in your mind when you were young.
Can you see how strong influnece they have on you when you just do a silly task of basically doing absolutely nothing important?
On that simple example it is easy to illustrate how we are controlled by forces that we can not influence.
Imagine you've just met a girl you fancy and you are dressed in old and worn out clothes, but in your packet you have the most modern cell phone that looks like it just came from an epizode of StarWars. Adds are that you will take it out to show her that you have some expensive material possesion, to impress her. Actually it will be really hard to resist the drive to take your cell phone out, or your new Italian sunglasses to impress the woman.
I have discovered that over whelming majority of men stay in that pattern their whole life, always looking for something else that will impress the women more but never actually making a move on her and approaching her and finally not being a coward.
The society program is so strong that it is hard to sense it when you are close to a beautiful woman so I suggest that you start small and buy some biscuits!
It may look like an insignificat step but believe me it is a small step for humankind but a huge leap for you. I am one of the founders of a company Fidentia that helps men get confidence for approaching women and on our workshops we go out and our students meet women by themselves. We've manage to develop hundreds of exercises to help you control your internal state and to make it easy and natural to talk to an unknown women as you would talk to your best friend.
One of the basic buliding blocks of our approach to teaching is that the students gets comfortable being in their own skin, that he gets comfortable being who he is and not because he has a nice body or a new watch.
That is why our students have a huge advantage over any competition. While the average man works 9 to 5 and then afterwards he sees a new woman he could approach. His mind tells him that he is out of shape and that he will get toned for summer, that means in just 6 months.
Our student works from 9 to 5 also but when he sees a dazzling woman he approaches her and she is very attracted to his unusual confidence, and now he has a girlfiend while the other guy is dreaming of buying a new car stereo.
So I advise you to start with the biscuits and to get comfortable in your own skin even if you are wearing something totally out of date.
Then when you go out on Saturday night and drees your best you will know that your looks and possesion are just your secondary means, but for other guys they are the only thing they have. You can email us and tell us how your mission is going.
? Copyright 2005. Ranko Magami Ranko Magami is a date doctor for Fidentia a company that teaches men dating confidence in live workshops. See this website for more info