Guys have all different motives for trying to be successful with women. Personally, I love relationships, because why would I want to sleep with a chick just once?
A lot of other guys just go for one night stands. That's cool too.
Whatever your goal is in dating, the best way to achieve it as a man is to go all the way with the woman, right from the start.
And make no mistake, the single best way to get a woman into a relationship is to hook up with her from the start. This is because sex like that can only happen with a guy who has swept her off her feet and had a deep connection with her almost instantaneously.
For that reason, I counsel the guys I coach to try to persist for sex and get laid on the very first date with a woman. This article will explain how to do that.
Having gone out with with literally thousands of women and gone to bed with hundreds over the past two and a half decades, I've learned that there's nothing you can do to GUARANTEE having sex with any particular woman.
However, by doing a few simple things, you can dramatically INCREASE THE ODDS of going all the way on the very first night of your relationship.
1. Meet her in a non-traditional venue.
By that I mean, don't take her to a fancy dinner or do anything else that she associates with a "date." If you do, that puts her into the same "make him wait" mindset that she adopted with the last 100 guys who bought her a nice dinner.
Instead meet her somewhere informal, like a coffee shop or some cheap diner for lunch. Don't make a big deal out of who pays for what, because again, the last 100 guys she dated paid for her meal because, as was blatantly obvious to her, they were hoping to get laid.
As an alpha male, you shouldn't do anything because you're "hoping to get laid." That reeks of desperation and kills attraction that a woman feels.
A more attractive guy is one who gets laid all the time, so sex is no big deal to him. If a woman wants his attention, she has to earn it. In other words, he is a challenge for her, not a sure thing.
2. Have the proper mindset throughout the date.
You want to be relaxed and feeling sexual. (To get yourself into a sexual state, try watching porn just before the date, but don't masturbate.) And it's important to feel relaxed. No nervousness.
For a woman to become sexual, she needs to feel relaxed and horny. It is important that you feel that exact way yourself, because studies have shown that when two people are in rapport, they eventually match emotional states with each other.
So when you're chilling with the girl, you should feel deeply relaxed and horny, and then engage her in conversation about neutral subjects until you see signs that she too is getting relaxed and horny.
3. Get her alone with you.
Let's say you and the girl hit it off fantastically in the coffee shop, so you then take her to a bar to get a quick drink. Things are really going well there. The conversational vibe is excellent. You see signs of her increasing sexual arousal and openness to intimacy.
Some body language signs of a woman's deepening sexual attraction to you include:
- Sitting with her inner thigh exposed.
- Fidgeting with her clothes. She might even unfasten a button or two of her blouse.
- She engages in "triangle gazing." She'll look at one of your eyes, then another, and then at your mouth.
- You notice her stealing glimpses at your chest and even your crotch.
The problem is you can't just say, "Let's go to my place and have sex." With women you're on a first date with, whenever you verbalize anything sexual, it kills the mood for her and results in you sleeping alone that night.
Instead, mention an innocent excuse for the two of you to go to your place. (Examples could be, "You should come hear my 'Best of the 80s' CD" or "That's awesome that you're so good with art? I have a painting in my living room that I'd love to get your opinion on")
Since the two of you have an "innocent" reason to be alone together, it avoids triggering the alarm bells in her mind that scream, "Uh oh! I don't want to be a slut!"
Once the two of you are then alone, isolated at your place, you can set the scene for the seduction.
It can take several hours for the woman to feel comfortable enough with you at your house, so you need to be patient.
Sit on your couch and watch a movie. Slowly escalate. Hold hands, stroke her hair, and so on from there.
Sexually, women are like irons. They heat up slowly. Keep that in mind and don't rush things, and you'll have your maximum shot at having sex on a first date.
John Alexander is author of "How to Become an Alpha Male," a dating and seduction success guide for men found at http://www.becomingalpha.com