Everyday I meet people who have a chronic upset that runs their lives, and I notice that they are not even aware of it. Often the pain has become buried in their unconscious; or if they are aware of it, they choose to deny any power to combat it.
Yet unless they seek healing, this energy locked up in their mind is a continual drain on their vitality. It is a parasite to their life-force.
The first step to true self-help is willing to be candid, notice what hurts, and find the therapy that is necessary to remove the psychic burden.
Those who do this will find that their whole life will open up. All the things that seemed impossible before suddenly become possible. They realize that they need not be amongst the walking wounded because help is near at hand. All they have to do is ask for it.
Most people deny or push back the events that hurt them, and when they do this, they choose the path of disempowerment.
They are burdened not by what actually happened, but by how they cling to their story of persecution. If it has been awful enough, they even numb out and blank out the persecution.
Their persecutor has indeed won over them; not only then, but also in the now. Their persecutor's malice not only disempowered them in the past, but continues to weaken them.
Often victims think that revenge is a desirable option and they feel that they might draw some satisfaction if they could strike out and hurt as they have been hurt, but often the persecutor is no longer available, and sometimes may even have died a long time ago.
Child-molestors, spousal abusers, terrorists and criminals rank among those who seek revenge, but because the persecutor is no longer available, they act out their rage on others who had nothing to do with their abuse.
Almost everybody has been tormented at one time or another. Those who are psychologically healthy have taken the effort to seek and find healing.
In your case, the cycle of your unhappiness can only stop when you decide that it is time to get your power back Until you make this decision, you will forever be persecuted, because your wounded psyche will continue to do your tormentors work.
Hell, in fact, is never letting the wound heal, but opening it up afresh when thought of your torment comes to mind. And a deeper hell is not even allowing the pain to reach consciousness but express itself through tormented behavior.
How do you let it go? That is the task of skilled therapy.
All psychological imbalances, whether mild, as in a neurosis, or chronic, as in a full blown psychosis, arise from embracing victimhood.
Unless a time comes when you confront your inner tormentors, no self-help course of study can help you "unleash the giant within."
Knowledge is not enough; emotional catharis is a necessity. Even this article can do nothing for you; it is what you do with it that makes a difference. Do you confront your past, and find a healer? Or do you live with it, and continue along the paths of least promise? We are always choosing, even when we choose not to choose.
Saleem Rana got his masters in psychotherapy from California Lutheran University, Thousand Oaks, Ca., 15 years ago and now resides in Denver, Colorado. His articles on the internet have inspired over ten thousand people from around the world. Discover how to create a remarkable life
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