FEAR! To what extent does fear rule your life? How is fear controlling or motivating you? Bring up the topic and watch people react. Our lives incorporate so many beliefs about fear- reinforced by what we tell ourselves and what we hear from others. Is it any wonder that finding peace and serenity becomes such a challenge within a strong climate of negativity?
Does fear have any positive value? Yes! Alerting us to danger, exercising discernment to insure safety, and weighing the consequences to impulsive actions. Fear can be a motivating energy for action and change. When fear is allowed to control the quality of our lives, then we have a problem. So, to what extent DOES fear rule your life? Exploring your fears in greater depth can be revealing in helping you to understand yourself better. Shifting perception and taking action is evolutionary. In my coaching practice, the energy of fear repeatedly emerges when clients envision (anticipate) change in their lives and literally take steps to bring those changes into reality. Familiarity fosters comfort and safety; therefore change can be perceived as both frightening and threatening,
Recognizing some of the subtleties of fear takes a bit of detective work. A master of disguise, some of the forms of fear include: procrastination (with the purpose of delaying action), the NEED to be in control, anger (can be a cover for other emotions especially helplessness or powerlessness), isolation, induced illness, rationalizing, blaming etc. Getting UNDER the reaction unveils the fear. Working with people has given me innumerable opportunities to witness ways to transform fear.
One of my coaching clients was feeling stuck and overwhelmed. He felt he had made real progress over the years both personally and professionally. He realized he continually came to a point and went no farther. He felt a duality inside. One part of him yearned to take a leap, the other part convinced him it didn't matter- his life was pretty good. At the root of his inertia, was fear. His options were clear. He could continue to return to this point, possibly ad infinitum, or?. he could move through his fear and take his life to the next level. After much conversation, he expressed his willingness to work through his fear, finally.
These are the some of the most successful steps I have found to transform fear:
* Practice daily gratitude ? Recognizing your daily blessings, big and small evokes peace and trust. Taking time to express sincere gratitude generates joy-full thoughts and feelings. Put your attention on the glass half full rather than the glass half empty. Fear disappears in the presence of joy.
* Be in faith ? Put your trust in your spiritual beliefs. Your own personal history reflects the blessings and gifts you recognize as coming from the Divine. At times of doubt and fear, draw on your truth for perspective and wisdom. Combined with gratitude, asking the Universe for love, support and guidance has been a great source of comfort and strength in diffusing fear. In faith, there is no fear.
* Be in the present ? In a ground breaking book, The Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle, he advocates being in the moment, in the NOW. He stresses the power the mind (ego) has in creating our perceived reality. Our minds have the ability to imagine the worst (intensifying fear), instead of expecting the best. He says " the more identified you are with your thinking, your likes and dislikes, judgments, and interpretations, which is to say the less present you are as the watching consciousness, the stronger the emotional energy charge will be, whether you are aware of it or not." He believes " unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry ? all forms of fear are caused by too much future, and not enough presence." Become an observer to inner thoughts and feelings without engaging or judging, and the thought will quickly subside (because it isn't given any energy to thrive). Being in the present connects us with the Divine.
* Practice extreme self-care ? I use extreme because taking the best care of You is serious. When needs are not being met, negative thoughts and reactions intensify. Over time, unmet needs can manifest medical and psychological conditions. Have you ever noticed how your life flows (or doesn't flow) when you are neglecting yourself? Being positively selfish and putting yourself first gives you the vitality and desire to be fully there for those you love- by choice not obligation.
* Be in integrity ? Is your life a reflection of your personal standards and values? When you live your life by being true to "who you are" fear is replaced by peace and serenity.
* Build a strong, positive, nurturing community ? We are influenced and impacted by the people in our lives especially within our inner circle. Allowing the special people in your life to love and support you is a gift and a blessing from which to draw strength, clarity, and courage.
* Be a risk-taker, MOVE!- Taking appropriate, empowered action " in fear" dismantles the illusion of paralysis and power of fear. Use your fear to move and take action, one step at a time.
Copyright 2001, Lorraine Cohen
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Lorraine Cohen of Powerfull Living (http://www.powerfull-living.biz) is a Business Coach and Life Strategist and Team Member of Solo-E (http://www.Solo-E.com). Integrating her therapy background with coaching, she helps people make more money, manage their time, increase self-assurance, resolve inner conflict, stay focused on the results they want, and balance work and home life.
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