How many times have you heard this in your life? Perhaps you have said it yourself. We are trying to accomplish something here. We are trying to complete this programme. We are trying to change the attitudes of our employees. We are trying to finish so we can go on holiday. We are trying to get fit. We are trying to diet. We are trying to give up smoking/drinking/eating donuts or whatever.
These are all statements you hear and no doubt have said a thousand times. But in them is the seed of failure. In saying these few words you are destined not to succeed. The seed to failure is in the word 'trying'.
Just stop a moment and look at your life. Ask yourself the question.
What does trying really mean?
Does it mean:
I am making effort to succeed.
I am having a go but I don't think I will succeed
I don't want to do this but if I look as though I am it will keep everyone happy.
I must look as though I am making effort here.
It won't really work but if that's what they want I will go along with it.
I cannot see us completing this in a month of Sundays but at least it looks as though we have given it a go.
I hate the idea of jogging or the gym but to keep her/him happy I will have a go.
Deep down I like the way I am and the food I eat but it keeps people off my back.
I actually like smoking. It helps with the stress but after all the publicity I think I ought to give it up.
If trying means any of the above are you surprised you fail?
Have a go at this exercise.
Try not to think of a giraffe?
Did you succeed. I bet you can't get the photo of a giraffe out of your mind.
Try to make a cup of coffee.
You can't can you. You either make a cup of coffee or you don't.
I know they are silly examples but they make the point. When it comes to tasks you either do them or you don't. So using the word 'trying' is just a way of preparing yourself when you haven't set the goals and objectives of what it is you want to achieve. If you really decide what it is you want to achieve then you will find the correct tools the right frame of mind to go out and do it. When you fail to set the goals and objectives or you are not really committed to succeeding for whatever reason then you save yourself with the word, 'trying'.
Trying really means a state between no I don't want to do it and full commitment. You and I both know that if you fully commit to something then 99 times out of 100 you succeed. The time you don't succeed is when you don't want to. But rather than face the aggravation from others you say I'll try. Which basically means; I will not give it my all. I will do what I think is necessary in order for others to think that I have given it a good shot. I will try.
Do you remember when you were child and your grandmother said you were very trying. In other words you were a pain in the butt. You were a nuisance.
Well it's the same. When you decide that you will try to do something you are really a nuisance to yourself and others because the chance of success is negligible. You, at best, are going to waste a great deal of time and energy doing something you don't really believe in and is destined for failure. Or, possibly marginal success.
Whenever you enter a new challenge with the thought of trying in your mind you are really doing yourself no favours. You are really showing the world that you are a non achiever.
If deep down, in those hidden dreams you carry, you want to be an achiever then do whatever is necessary in order to succeed. When you carry out a task say to yourself,
"No one can do this without me", and we promise you will succeed.
It's not a case of we are trying to achieve something here but We are achieving our goals here.
Graham and Julie
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