So you want to be a mum? Every time you see a little baby in a mother's arms you
desire it even more. I am going to ask some hard questions here for those who want
to be mums: Why do you want to be a mum? Is it because it will be fun? Is it because
you can show your motherhood to others? Is it because you want to keep your
Is it because of your loneliness? Is it because you are curious? Is it because you can
get so many benefits in this country? Is it because you want to leave your surname
going after you die? If you had to go on an interview in order to be authorised to be
a mother, do you think you'd pass?
Motherhood is a full-time job with long hours and overtime. It is not a task for just
anyone, and I could even go on to say that it is one of the most important jobs there
is in the whole world. You are bringing another human being to life - can you feel
the weight? And if that's not heavy enough, consider that you'll be making yourself
responsible for him for the rest of your life.
Whoever he becomes, he'll still be your son. Whatever she does, she'll still be your
daughter, and that is a very heavy weight to carry! You will be directly responsible
for teaching your child everything that he needs to know in order to succeed. If you
haven't learned all that yourself yet, teaching your child is going to be extremely
You may think that since there are so many mums, it must be self-explanatory. But
think again: how many mums actually succeed in raising their children the right
way? How many succeed in bringing their children up to be the best they can be? If
all mums thoughtfully considered their responsibilities, our society would definitely
not be the way it is today. Instead, we have children killing other children, kids
taking illegal drugs, teenagers getting pregnant, and the list goes on.
Some adults have a hard time finding their place in the world just because of the
way they were brought up themselves. Now this should mean something!
Many women want to be mums, but can they really be good ones? You don't have to
go to college to qualify for the motherhood task. But somehow you must come to
understand what you're getting yourself into. You cannot bear your children and
just let them be raised by TV, Internet, school, their friends, etc. Once you bring
them into this world, it is up to you to take care of them.
If the reasons you're having children are among those listed at the beginning of this
article, then you're having them for the wrong reasons and you (and most certainly
your children!) will be greatly disappointed. You see, if you could not fulfil those
needs on your own, how do you think a little child can fulfil them for you?
Isn't it unfair to expect that your little baby will keep your partner at home? Or, that
your baby will take your loneliness away or, make your life more fun? How can he
possibly do that? If there's one thing you should learn before becoming a mother, it
is this: motherhood is about the children - not about you!
Cristiane Cardoso is a columnist at http://www.uckg.org/women and on the 'Folha
Universal' national newspaper in Brazil, and also 'Free Woman' presenter on
http://www.libertyradio.co.uk every Thursday 10pm Uk time.