There are times when my ideas of raising a child is different from the elderly and others. To begin with, my baby is not an easy one. Because we're all different and have contrasting ideas about raising their own children, we should expect contradiction...especially if we have to depend on others to help take care of our children while we're away at work.
Sometimes, others may refer to your child as a BAD BABY just because your child is not as 'well behaved' as others. But through the years of parenting, I have begun to question the following, who's a good baby and who's a bad one ? Is there ever a bad baby? Are babies capable of being bad? What is bad?
Being a work at home mother, I work during the when I have to. Even when I am physically at home, I still HAVE TO work and have self-imposed working hours. So, I still have to depend on inside and outside help to take care of my kids until I can be with them...which is often as soon as I can. But opinions are not necessarily the same when it comes to childcare.
Take it from me, just learn to relax a little bit more. When you're a first time parent, admit it, we're really keen on being a good parent. Anything can send us into unabashed hysteria! I know I was like that when I was first a mother. The second time round, I look back and sometimes laugh at myself.
Relax . Take a deep breath and count to ten. If you're not calm by then, take another deep breath and count to ten again. Still suffering from frayed nerves? Repeat procedure. The point is that, it's not too good to spoil the repoire you have with your baby's daytime caretaker, whether she is your relative, sister, mother, mother-in-law or a hired help. Besides, maybe bending a couple of rules here and there is not going to result in a totally lost and hopeless child.
Find other options . Look, discreetly, for other means of taking care of your son, some of which may be seeking outside help, alternating caretaking with mother and mother-in-law...etc. There are always other ways of finding a reasonably good caretaker for your baby. For me, I have resorted to hiring a live-in babysitter who takes care of my children when I am working.
Talk to other people about your problem . There will be other people who face the same problem you're facing. Sometimes, talking about it to another person will simply make it less significant and put things back into perspective. Especially when the someone is someone you trust completely. Just remember to keep an open mind...
Consult other family members . Other people may have a tip or two up their sleeves on how they survived the ordeal.
Swallow the pill . Take it from me, it is not worth it to argue with your baby's daycaregivers. Ultimately, the welfare of your baby is in their hands. You're on the losing end if you piss them off. It is simply not worth it. Noone and I mean, NOONE will be able to UNDERSTAND or deal with the problems FOR YOU. Pick your battles wisely, smile and bear with it. Sometimes, bearing with it, the other parties (like your day caregivers) may start to see something in you and things will starting becoming better. I mean, who knows?
Marsha Maung is a work at home graphic designer and writer. She lives with her husband, Peter and 2 boys, Joshua and Jared in Selangor, Malaysia. She is the author or "Raising Little Magicians" and more information can be found at http://www.marshamaung.com