Successful families don't just happen. They take time, talent and planning. This month, in addition to any personal resolutions you make, consider sitting down with your family to reflect on your collective accomplishments and dreams. Then set some family goals for the year ahead.
How to begin ?
Schedule. Set aside a few hours over a series of nights, and gather together everyone in your home. Your teens will need notice, but tasty treats might help attendance.
Share the purpose. You will be discussing your wants, dreams and the values you hold important in your lives, then using them to develop goals to guide your family.
Reflect. Consider having each member choose and record one really important goal from each category:
Discuss. Share your ideas. Be open and accepting. Some might need to a little coaxing to share, for fear of being ridiculed. However, if done in an atmosphere of mutual respect, this can be a great opportunity to really get to know your family! It can also give insight into people's frustrations & stressors, as you learn about the ideals they hold important in their lives
Analyze. Are they feasible? Are they specific enough? Look for similarities. Do any overlap with others?
Write. Now collectively create a series of statements to both collapse and capture these common desires. These will become your family goals. For example:
We are a kind and loving family who is thankful for all that we have.
We value & support family and friends.
We exercise regularly and lead healthy lives.
We share our time, talents and resources with others.
We invest in the future financially and spiritually.
We strive for excellence in education, and encourage life-long learning.
Celebrate. You now have a set of goals to help guide your family's decision-making. Everyone can now weigh choices against these statements to determine if they lead your family closer or further from your family's goals.
Post & review. Whether you frame your goals or carry copies in your wallets, take time each day, week, & month to reflect and review what you have accomplished. Are you making choices which support these goals? Don't worry if you slip. Even the most effective families can be off track most of the time! The trick that keeps them on target is their shared sense of focus and destination. They know where they are headed, and they keep coming back to it.
Thoughts to ponder ?
Change is hard. Old habits are difficult to overcome. Be patient and supportive of one another.
Involve everyone. The process of family goal setting can help give family members a better sense of "voice". Telling your family what their goals are will not promote acceptance.
Take your time. Creating family goals should be a process, not a one day event.
Regardless of your family type ? big, small, divorced or blended, adoptive or otherwise, successful families don't just happen. So, make a plan and provide the focus needed to achieve your dreams & goals.
For additional information be sure to check out:
The On-Purpose Person: Making Your Life Make Sense by Kevin McCarthy
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families by Stephen Covey
Family First: Your Step-by-Step Plan for Creating a Phenomenal Family by Dr. Phil McGraw
?2005 Rob Stringer.com - reprinted with permission
Award-winning educator, speaker and author, Rob Stringer coaches and assists parents with his upbeat approach to learning, and parenting. For more ideas, resources or workshop information, visit http://www.RobStringer.com or call (905) 544-1938 today.