Have you heard of the FABS? The FABS are quadruplets; they are not identical but they are very, very similar! The FABS are: Fear, Anger, Blame and Shame. This quartet love to arrive, uninvited, at people's houses and literally stay forever. They will certainly stay as long as you allow them to; they never seem to get tired of hanging around and causing troubles for the unsuspecting host.
The FABS love to attach themselves to abused children, but they really lie in wait for anyone who is vulnerable. Children who have been abused learn early that the world is an unsafe place, and that they have no personal power with which to protect themselves. They internalize everything that is done to them, and believe everything that is said to them. This provides a fertile environment for the FABS to flourish in. And usually, all of the fear, anger, blame and shame is directed squarely at the self. The child feels at fault for everything that happens.
However, the FABS can move in on anyone at any time. When life becomes too stressful or hurtful, then it provides an opening for the FABS to move in. Whenever a person feels guilty for their actions then the side door opens and the FABS can sneak in.
FABS live in the dark. They tend to hide in the dark corners of our minds, avoiding the light of day at all costs. If the sun were to shine on the FABS then it is very likely that the host would take immediate steps to eliminate them. It is much easier to lurk in the subconscious and just spring out whenever the opportunity presents itself. Then the FABS kick in and keep the host from moving forward in their lives.
Some of the symptoms of FABS in your life are:Feeling as if everything that happens is your "fault"Constant apologizingFeelings of depression and unworthinessGetting stuck in bad relationshipsAlways being a "giver"Surrounding yourself with "takers"Being afraid of changeNever standing up for oneselfBeing overweightBack problems
People infested with FABS are often overweight because they use food as a medication, unknowingly trying to eliminate the pain that FABS causes; or they use weight as protection against an uncertain and painful world. Excess weight can be a wonderful buffer, and can become as comforting as a favorite blanket. FABS sufferers often have back problems as well, because they consciously or unconsciously feel that they have no support in their lives. Lack of emotional support=back pain!
Once FABS have moved into your life they are extremely hard to get rid of, but not impossible by any means! It takes work, dedication and a real desire to get them out of your life. You may need a good FABS exterminator, which can be a therapist or a personal coach. Getting rid of the FABS in your life is a very important step to take, no matter how difficult it may be. Once they are gone, you cannot imagine how good life will feel, how bright the sun shines and how far you can go on your path!
About The Author
Sibyl McLendon is 1/2 Navajo, and is a personal spiritual coach for Circle Of Grace http://www.circle-of-grace.com.
Circle Of Grace is a unique blending of Native American spirituality and holistic wellness coaching. Sign up for a free coaching session!
Sibyl can be contacted at firstname.lastname@example.org