Have you ever felt the whole world was against you? No matter what you try, you just can't succeed, causing you to have a total lack of self-confidence. You may even feel that way now, but what I am about to share with you should pull you out of that place and into a mindset and feeling of total possibility and success to ensure you boost your self-confidence rapidly.
While you feel isolated from everyone else when you are going through this phase with no confidence, within the next few minutes you will learn that you are not alone at all. In fact you will discover that you have more support at your disposal than you thought possible guaranteeing you to build confidence.
While some people revert to eating, shopping, crying, screaming or even, hibernating from everyone, I'm sure you don't need me to tell you that these reactions don't help the situation or your self-confidence very much. Instead of running that "spit the dummy" routine when you are feeling like a failure, let's transfer your focus and energy on something that may help your cause, instead of magnifying it.
The quickest way to do this is turning to your supporters. Firstly you need to know:
Who are your supporters?
Who can help pull you out of this emotional downtime?
Who can give you that confidence boost?
I call this emotional downtime, because, while you feel like a loser with no confidence, it's only your emotions which are responsible for your results. Your actual knowledge and skills are good enough to succeed, but it's your pessimistic focus that drives your negative emotions which in turn give you the disappointing results that you produce when in this state resulting in no confidence. When you are in such an emotional downtime, it's virtually impossible to turn yourself around by yourself.
All you need to do is alter your thoughts and views which in turn will turn your emotions and results around 180 degrees. But it's very difficult to do by yourself.
You have been to five job interviews and failed to get the job on all occasions. Of course now you have a lack of self confidence and are starting to think negatively about the next job interview. You may start saying things like, "I'm a loser", "I'll never get a job", "I'm not good enough" and so on.
Now it will be almost impossible for you to walk into the next job interview with optimistic expectations and be upbeat. Instead you will be thinking "why bother".
Reading this now, I'm sure you will agree that it is all so obvious. But take yourself back to some similar situations that you have been in and remember that you too reacted in such a no hope attitude, shutting off the possibility of a positive outcome. It's very hard to turn it around by yourself!
But with the help of others, this can be done quickly and easily.
Just like any business person or athlete, whenever they question their ability to produce the necessary results, they turn to their coach to pull them out rather than trying to do it themselves because they know that at the time:
They are emotionally charged negatively to the situation, limiting possible outcomes and perceptions.Their coach/supporter is not emotionally connected to the situation, and therefore can think logically.
Who is or can be your personal coach to pull you out of situations when you are feeling down with no confidence?
Think carefully here, you don't want to choose the wrong coach.
Think of all your family members, friends, colleagues, neighbors, members of any clubs you belong to, shop owners etc. you have gotten to know.
Now all you have to do is contact them.
"Wait a minute" you might be saying. How am I supposed to contact them when I am feeling like this (as down as one can feel)?
Don't worry, this is much easier than you think.
If you choose your coach wisely, you will have done it from the point of trust, love, respect and admiration. Chances are they feel the same way towards you, because over time you have both created an important and very strong friendship/relationship.
All you have to do is be open and honest and they will most likely accept your request with open arms.
You can simply say something like:
"I'm really lacking confidence right now and need someone to snap me out of these negative thoughts I'm having, do you mind helping?"
- "I need your help. I am feeling really down right now and need someone to make me smile".
The more open and honest you are, the more likely they will accept and do everything they can to help you out. People love to help others. It makes them feel good to know they have contributed to someone and they get praised, which makes them also feel special.
So all you have to do once they accept to help is:
Make sure you are willing to listen, learn and change your points of view. All you want to achieve out of this is a snap out of your negative thoughts to alter your feeling as a confidence builder. It doesn't matter so much if they are right or not with whatever they say, just be open and willing to accept a fresh point of view to make this transition successful. It won't help at all if you are in denial and every time they say something that goes against your beliefs, you snap back at them saying they are wrong. Right and wrong does not matter right now. Getting you out of your emotional downtime is the only issue.Praise them like mad, but be genuine. That way, they will feel good, knowing that you really respect their time and words of advice and will be very willing to help you again should you fall into the same emotional downtime again.
Don't forget, you are NOT alone when you feel the world is against you and you have no confidence. Go to your "coaches" and use them to pull you out of the emotional downtime and move on confidently.
Rohan Cox illustrates how anyone can improve their confidence by up to 237% in as little as 37 minutes with his Ebook, The Essential Steps For Total Confidence. Start gaining confidence now.