In many instances, we all are "gun shy" after a short-or long-
term relationship, because being hurt or feeling bad is not an
This stinging feeling tends to guide us as we clamor for
something new or fresh. It's as if the bricks and mortar are
suddenly out and there is a new fortress built conveniently
around your heart.
So when we do meet someone new, how do we know when
a bright future is on the horizon? Furthermore, if we think
we have it, how do we really know?
The heart can be deceptive and initially in a relationship, it
can be very lustful swaying the mind to a sort of natural
high. This period is just that, a period that both people go
through that intentionally attempts to highlight your
positives and suppress your negatives towards the
We all want to put our best foot forward in any given
situation whether it's landing a special mate or a good job.
However, when your worst foot inevitably takes place of
your best one is when the real test commences.
In order to properly judge another, one must be able to
accept judging themselves!
None of us are perfect and everyone has flaws, but to what
degree can we accept them not only in others, but
If we all received a piece of paper with a large T on it, and
on either side it listed the pros and cons as the average
person would perceive positives and negatives, we would
most certainly have a "leg up" in the filtering mode.
Most everyone filters through specific traits and qualities
when dating anyone to gauge compatibility and get a better
handle on their odds. So when your filter gets clogged up
after a certain amount of time with their "personal
luggage" as most call it, then it's time to move on, right?
Well, that depends on you obviously....
These negative aspects usually are not revealed until some
type of commitment has been agreed upon by both people.
Then, the facade and veneer of "look, I have so many
positives and I'm so fun and cool to be around", evaporates
and real life sets in.
It's a deal; or it's deal breaker time.....
When all the chips have fallen and the proverbial
probationary period of lustful highs comes to an screeching
end; a couple is left with what they should have came into
the relationship with in the first place.........themselves!
An assessment of sorts or a comprehensive evaluation is
undertaken in some segregated part of your mind and the
conversation is as follows:
"Is this man or woman worth my time? Are we going to
make each other better for being with each other, or does
he or she make me feel something I have never felt before?"
If it's not the exact internal questions, they certainly are not
If our intentions are truly built on a "good hearted
foundation" then not hiding the truth about ourselves when
meeting others is a simple task. We can love who we are
inside and then proceed to market that love so someone
else can enjoy it.
However, we hide and not reveal what we know are our
negatives without working internally on them before
proceeding into another relationship, where we can inject
them all over again. If we ironed out our problems before
delving full fledged into another committed relationship,
then we wouldn't have to "put our best foot forward
because we would have both feet already firmly on the
It all starts with you and taking personal accountability for
your own heart and what you truly seek in a perspective
False impressions of all positives about yourself put a
dishonest spin into a relationship from the get go and point
it for a tenuous at best, future.
When you get to know yourself inside and out and what
you truly want from a relationship is when you will know if
a relationship has a future or not.
Work on eliminating your negative personality traits before
ever pursuing a committed relationship. Then attempt to
efficiently read your perspective mate's honest intentions
before you invest too much time. If done correctly, you
will have increased your odds exponentially for a long term
relationship and stacked them confidently in your favor.
--by Brian Maloney-ValuePrep.com
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