When

We all need to consider our ways. So many times we operate in a state of being that is selfish and inconsiderate. We believe that we are unselfish and considerate, but are we really? Relationships are all about giving and sharing. If you cannot do that, then you need to work on yourself until you can. Otherwise, you will find it frustrating for you and whomever you are fighting with, yes, it will be a fight.

How

A new relationship with the opposite sex is not for the faint of heart. When we start a new relationship it should be a work of love. If you love what you do, would anyone have to ask you to do it? Or even pay you to do it? The goal is to build something that will last forever. For this to happen both people have to have pure love for it. However, if you don't have pure love, what you build is something short of pure, and love may not be in it at all. Sometimes people act selfishly.

In our lifetime, we go through many experiences, some good, some bad, some indifferent, however it is the choices we make before, during and after these experiences that define who we really are.

Single people may not have always been single and therefore they have experiences that caused them to make choices. If someone has always been single, they more than likely have had experiences that caused them to make choices to remain single. These choices are each individuals to make, but the consequences you do not get to choose and they often affect more than the individual who is making the decision. The point is that choices you make are often life changing and have long lasting consequences.

I talk with people, men and women, about what they thought about new relationships and this is what I have found: Most people are afraid of new relationships, because of what has happened to them in the past. When asked to consider their role in the past relationship and how it affected the relationship, most people have a hard time looking at themselves in an objective way. It is like they believed what ever they did was good enough for the relationship to be great, but upon further conversation it was obvious there was more they could have worked on with themselves. This is a major obstacle for most of us because we believe as long as we give something, then that is enough for a great relationship, this is so not true. You have to be willing to give your all and you should expect to receive all back.

I am reminded about the prophet Haggai in the Bible. He had to tell the people that they were taking too long to rebuild the temple. The reason they were taking too long to build the temple was because they were not giving their all. In addition to not giving their all, they were not pure in heart for the task. How could they build a Holy Temple, when they themselves were not Holy? In Haggai's prophecy to the people of Israel, God told Haggai to tell the people to consider their ways. If the people are able to consider what they do, then they have an opportunity to change. I use this as an example of how purity has its place in building relationships. This is not to say that you won't have impurity, however when you can consider your ways, you will be able to find your own impurity and do what is necessary to clean it up and get rid of it by changing your ways.

Why

A new relationship is all about cleaning out your impurities from the past relationships. Once you understand this, you can approach a new relationship with all you have to offer and expect all the other person has to offer in return.

The word "love" is used approximately 560 times through out the old and new testaments in the King James Bible. Each entry has a context and meaning specific to the situation that was present at the time. What we need to learn is the lesson of charity. This is written in I Corinthians Chapter 13 Versus 1 ? 8. With charity, we learn to give in the pureness of spirit and expect the best. If then we do not get the best back, then we can move on in the spirit of getting the best.

I have considered myself, and I truly believe that God has saved the best for last just for me. How about you? Have you considered yourself? If not, then now is a good time to consider yourself before you go into your next relationship.

Nevada York has based one of her characters: "Pastor Ethan", in her book Mahogany's Revelation on Ethan Berry, A.K.A. "Pastor Ethan." He resides in the Bay Area of California. http://nevadayork.com