It's Saturday night. You're sitting at home. Your phone has not rung in the past few hours. As a matter of fact, your phone hasn't rang much in the last two weeks (other than the bill collectors). You sit there. You pull up the movie offerings on Comcast. And you wonder - 'Is this what life is all about?'
You think to yourself - 'Shouldn't I be out with someone?' And, even if you didn't want to go out, shouldn't someone at least have called so that you could have the pleasure of saying no? Or should you call someone to ask him or her out, though you're sure they'll say no?
I mean, it's not like you don't have other options - as much as you don't want to use them. You would call your 'girls', but you're starting to think you're related to them because you see them so much. Or, you could call the 'fellows', but one more made up story about how many girls your one friend has will definitely send you over the edge. So what's a girl or boy to do?
First, let's ask ourselves - is it okay to be home, alone, on a Saturday night? Are you the butt of some cosmic joke that is destined to make you a permanent bachelor or bachelorette? Though it may seem this way at times, it is simply not so! Being single is a great thing. And, if it makes you feel any better, you can rest assured in the knowledge that you are not alone.
Being single (by choice or by circumstance) simply means being called to 'singleness'. This means you are solo in life, but not in your friendships, with your family or as a valuable, contributing member of society. In other words, you don't have a mate, but you have everything else a healthy individual needs to enjoy life. You have a job (and if you don't, being single gives you plenty of time to look for one!). You have your family, and you may or may not have children, so you are not lonely. You have your friends, so you have people who will talk to you or hang out with you. You have yourself (and if you find you get bored with your own company, then you might really have a problem!). But, most importantly, you have God.
Sometimes God is overjoyed at our singleness. His joy is the equivalent of your being on a diet and eating half a fat-free popsicle every day and then, whoo-hoo, getting to eat a whole pint of Haagen Dazs (or maybe it's just me)! If your life is like most people's, you are probably pretty darned busy most of the time with life, family career and church. And, when you were in a relationship, you were probably busy with the talks, the dates, the drama and the like. So you probably don't have a whole lot of time for God in the first place. But being single works in your favor - you have more time to spend with God, more time to pray and more time for the solitude required to develop a true walk with God.
Because this is when He can truly work on you! It says in the Bible that a single person seeks to please the Lord, but a married person seeks to please his or her spouse. The inference is obvious - when you are married, your mind shifts to other priorities. Even if you were domesticated before, now there's double-duty - double the dishes, double the money to do your grocery shopping, double the trash to take out, double the cars to service, and double the time spent with another person. Double the time, but still only one you. Being single is the perfect time to devote yourself to God! And to let Him develop you into the Christian He wants you to be.
This is not to say that you should never go out. Go out, have some good, clean fun. Mr. or Mrs. Right is out there somewhere waiting for you and he or she will put in an appearance - at the right time. But, until then, take advantage of your free time! Get in tune with God (because, believe me you'll need it when you get married), re-discover who you are, spend time with your friends, and become more committed at church. More importantly, spend 'quality' time with God. He wants you to. And you need to, to maintain joy, happiness, and peace of mind.
Date sometimes, but spend time with God all the time. And - here's a bonus - you just might find that spending all that time with God has put you on the fast track to spiritual maturity which will lead to finding the mate of your dreams even sooner! Better than waiting on the phone to ring, right?
Sonya C. Triggs is the Founder of Urban Christianz Ministries, which can be found at http://www.urbanchristianz.com. Visit her website to find articles, advice and resources about dating, relationships, spirituality and other Christian issues!