Just a few critical distinctions can supercharge your
1 Appeal To Peoples? Values
Values are the criteria by which people make sense of all the
information they must process before making a decision. In
simple terms, your values consist of what is most important to
When you ask someone: what is most important to you about ....?
They will tell you their values. Let's say you ask them their
career values, what is most important to you about your career?
They might answer: money, approval, and winning. Speak to them in
terms of these values and you will have their attention, talk
about what is not important to them and don't be surprised if
they fall asleep!
In the case of this example if you wanted to hire this person,
you would grab their interest by showing them how they could have
more money, approval and win more often with your company. If
instead you talked at length about the modesty, politeness and
punctuality of the workforce you would be wasting your time.
2 Let Go
Have you ever wanted something so much that your nerves got in
the way of expressing yourself clearly? That rush of excitement
just seemed to burn out some critical speech circuits!
When you absolutely need to be at your persuasive best ironically
you must also feel that you can walk away from the deal or
discussion without getting what you want. Developing emotional
detachment while still pursuing your goal is a powerful skill
that more people could do well to master. How can you let go of
the feelings while still wanting the goal?
Run through the scenario again and again in your mind, and see
everything working out in your favor. Picture it, hear it and
feel it going your way. Only when you have visualized this in
great detail are you ready to let go.
Ask yourself: could I just let go of wanting this to happen?
Spend a few minutes asking this question until you feel at peace
about your goal, when you feel at ease you will know that you
have let go.
Letting go is vital if you are to be at your persuasive best. The
best influencers prepare emotionally in advance of the big event,
you now know how to join them.
3 Be Persistent And Count To Ten
I once worked for the best salesperson I have ever come across. I
could never figure out what it was he did differently to everyone
else. What was the secret to doing so much better than everyone
One day I asked Paul what his secret was and he told me. He said
that he will listen to *No* ten times before he even considers
giving up on a prospect. Whereas most salespeople grow weary or
give up after hearing No the fifth time, Paul is only getting
I took on board his philosophy and immediately found that I was
catching more of those tricky sales as well as enjoying the
selling game a little more. Be persistent with a smile on your
face and count to ten!
Peter Murphy is a freelance business writer. He publishes a free
weekly ezine full of practical tips for communicating at your
best under pressure. All new subscribers receive a free e-book
with powerful strategies for being at your best.