Why do diets end up in gained weight? Why do some people fail again and again at business? And why do other people fall into one bad relationship after another ?- in spite of their honest desire for a "good" relationship?

Obviously no one *wishes* to fail in their personal or business life. Yet this is an all-too-common problem

We WANT to be in control! We WANT to make our lives a better place to be! We WANT success! We WANT a sense of security! We WANT a good relationship with ourselves and others.

Good grief ? we just WANT to be happy!

So what IS the problem?

** The "Basic Rule" of Lasting Personal Change

Trying to change the external conditions of your life can be an overwhelming challenge.

For example: Consider trying to lose weight by going on a "diet," and then keep it off.

Most of us know the final outcome of such a battle ?- failure!

The basic rule of personal change is this: Your efforts will *always* fail, or only be temporary, unless accompanied by a change of your internal thoughts and beliefs.

There are NO exceptions to this rule.

((To change your external conditions, you must first change your internal reality.))

For example: What's happening in your mind to make your business efforts end in failure? Or your relationships collapse? Or your waistline to continuously expand?

Unless you uncover and deal with the source, all your efforts will only be a band-aid over a festering wound.

This rule applies to anything you want to change in your life: From a fear of flying, to chronic underachievement and failure, lack of motivation, low energy, monetary lack, etc.

** How We Create Our Personal Reality

The old saying "you become what you think" is more than just a "saying." It is now solidly backed by years of sophisticated brain research.

Here's how it works:

Picture a foot path through a meadow. Frequent use creates a well-defined pathway. But if the path isn't used, it eventually disappears.

By its very nature, your mind is a creature of habit.

Just like a path through a meadow ?- pathways in your brain are "worn in" (strengthened) by frequent use. But unused pathways, on the other hand, will slowly disappear.

So ? if you give frequent attention to negative thoughts and conditions, they will grow stronger and more defined.

If you focus on the bright side of life, on the other hand, your "positive" neural pathways will gain strength and definition.

It really IS this simple.

((( What you focus on will grow )))

Your thoughts actually CREATE your external reality, because they determine how you will respond to what happens to you!

And your RESPONSES, in turn, directly determine your "personal reality."

** How Your Mind Works

Your conscious and subconscious minds are a team. They work together to create your "mental reality."

Picture your subconscious mind as a garden, and your conscious thoughts and beliefs as seeds. The subconscious mind does not question the seeds planted in it. It simply provides the soil in which they flourish and grow.

Your conscious mind, on the other hand, is the wise gardener. It chooses and plants healthy seeds, and removes the weeds that have grown in your mental garden.

It's important to remember that the subconscious mind does NOT *rationally analyze* the seeds planted in its soil. It simply works 24-hours a day to grow what has been planted in it.

Your subconscious will manifest failure, sickness, depression and misfortune -- just as easily as it will manifest success, abundance, and happiness.

** An "ANT-Stomping" Exercise

If you have not achieved the happiness and success you deserve in your life, you probably have some ANTs running around your subconscious mind.

ANTs (Automatic Negative Thoughts) can undo our most determined efforts to create a healthy, happy, successful, prosperous life. And they are the enemy of anyone desiring lasting personal change.

Here are four steps you can take to stomp out ANTs:

? First, build your awareness of what those ANTs are all about. What messages are they marching through your subconscious mind?

? Second, once you become aware of an ANT, drag it out into the sunlight of your conscious mind. Ask yourself: "Is it providing a message about something I should change? Or is it just spouting old stuff from my childhood that's no longer really true?"

? Third, create an anchor to either make the indicated change, or stomp that ANT. An anchor is a *signal* to yourself that will become automatic, once established. For example, you could instruct yourself to snap your fingers every time an ANT tries to undo your efforts to improve your life. Come up with your own anchor.

? Fourth, remember that your mind can only hold ONE thought at a time. Focus your conscious thoughts on what you WANT.

? Fifth, Do NOT focus on worry or limitation. Remember: What you focus on *will* grow!

? 2004 All Rights Reserved

The author, Dr Jill Ammon-Wexler, is a doctor of psychology, pioneer brain/mind researcher, and former advisor to the Pentagon, a Presidential Commission, and numerous top executives and executive teams. The author of several books and hundreds of articles, she is also the co-founder of quantum-self.com, and the Creative Director of the Self Discovery Community. She can be reached at: drjill@quantum-self.com

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