Do you feel all alone and out of sorts on days like Valentine's Day when you are not in a relationship? Use these suggestions to reframe your experience and set the stage for what you want to attract for yourself. Here are 10 things you can do to make it a great day for you.

1. Spend some time thinking of the loves you have known in the past. Are you holding any anger or grudges towards them? If so, spend some time releasing those feelings. Write a letter of forgiveness to the person, which you can choose to send or not. Be open and willing to forgive. Forgiveness gets you off the hook and frees you from a toxic bond that keeps you stuck in attachment to that other person. It doesn't say what they did was okay, just that you aren't going to hang on to feelings that are attached to the past and that hurt you more than the other person. Forgiveness opens the door to your heart and creates a space and loving emotional tone.

2. Be sure to spend at least 5 minutes in front of the mirror and tell yourself that you love yourself, exactly as you are now. Attracting a loving relationship is much easier when we love ourselves first. And it's always good to give what we want to receive.

3. Think about the people that are part of your world that could use some extra attention and affection because they are alone. Is there someone you know that you could call and say I love you? Or send them a card? That will amplify the spreading of love which helps you to attract more.

4. Set an intention to have a loving day and to participate as fully as you possibly can in loving rituals. Be your own valentine for the day. What would you want to receive today - flowers, chocolates, and a loving card? Buy them for yourself!

The idea is to create as much as possible the Valentine's Day you would want to have if you were in a relationship. That's telling the universe what you intend to have in your life and gets you into the feelings level of the goal, which is a key way to attract what you desire.

5. Do celebrate with a friend. It is much more fun to be in the spirit of the day than to stay home feeling sorry for yourself. Ask one or more friends to go out and do something special with you.

6. Dress up. Do act as though you are going on a date. You are, only it is with yourself! Get all spiffed up. Gals, do your hair and make-up as if you were going out with the man of your dreams. Men, put on what you would wear on a big date. If you treat yourself with this loving attention, you will feel the excitement of the day and that will send you out in the right frame of mind to have a great time.

7. When you are at the restaurant or wherever you have chosen to go, notice the couples and bask in all the love that is being expressed. Just soak it in and let it permeate you and keep you open to it. It will remind you of what you desire and give you concrete evidence that it is possible to have. Maybe you are not part of a couple today, but you could be tomorrow and this will help you be ready.

8. Be grateful for all the people you love now or have in the past -your friends, family and loved ones. Gratitude opens our hearts, puts us in a very positive frame of mind and says a great big "Thank you" to the universe. Appreciation means "to increase in value" and we are much more likely to receive our heart's desire when we express gratitude for what we do have.

9. Do use today to recommit to what you really want in a relationship. Make a list of all the qualities that are important to you in a partner. Write out ten to thirty qualities or so and then read them periodically after today to remind you of what you intend to attract. Give thanks that this person is on the way to you.

10. Now spend some time visualizing yourself in a relationship with this ideal person.

What would it feel like to be in this relationship? What activities would you like to do?

If you would be living together, what is your home like?

What's your favorite restaurant? See yourself having a romantic candlelight dinner with your man or woman. What are you eating? What are you wearing?

What places would you go?

Get in touch with whatever sensory experiences you can create. Perhaps there's a cologne or perfume that you enjoy. Smell that. What does it feel like to walk hand-in-hand or to be held in the arms of this person?

This process of visualizing and acting "as if" is another tool to create the life of your dreams.

Copyright 2005 Rosemary Heenan

Rosemary Heenan is a Certified Integrative Coach Professional. Her specialty is coaching mid-life women who want this to be the best part of their lives. Sign up for her free newsletter at http://www.rosemaryheenan.com

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