Anamcara - The Blessing of Love

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???The snow goose need not bathe to make its self white Neither need you do anything to be yourself.??? Lao-Tse

In Corrogue it is snowing and I am sending valentines.

I remember that tomorrow is St. Valentines Day. It is a day when we are encouraged to remember Love. Some may think this day has become yet another day of commercial exploitation. Another day when one is pressured to act in ways one resists.

Yet I am reminded of the essence of such a day. It reminds me of the beautiful line from one of my favourite poems. This is from the poem by Max Ehrmann. This is the beautiful poem entitled ???Desiderata??? (things to be desired).

???Neither be cynical about love, for in an uncertain world it is as perennial as the grass.???

To all my subscribers and friends of this ezine I say, ???Happy St. Valentines Day.??? I say to you all, ???I love you.??? I remind you that beyond all the wounding that you have received and given in the name of love you are Blessed beyond measure. I remind you that rather than ???be loving??? you ???are LOVE.??? You are the beauty. You are the essence.

On this day when there may be an absence of love in your life know that you are enough now and forever. Know that the deeper you go to meet your soul the less the ups and downs of love have power to disturb you. This is because you become your own ???soul friend.??? You become your own ???Anam Cara.???

You become as the magic cauldron of the Irish God Dagda. This cauldron feeds you forever and is never empty. This is the nature of love. You have to return to trust that you are enough and that you are this. You claim your real power. You claim the real power of you ability ???to be love.???

We go looking in the world for that special love that will make us happier and more fulfilled. We forget we have a lover waiting for us for eternity. This Lover is calling to us moment to moment. We have a lover that wants eternally to embrace us in ways beyond belief. One glance from this Lover and you will never forget. You will be hooked. You will not go searching in the world of the other and the world of the visible for a love that is transient.

On this St.Valentines Day be kind to your heart. If you feel lonely then know that you are not alone. You can never be alone although this feeling of loneliness feels so real. Let tomorrow be an opportunity to embrace your own beauty. Let tomorrow be a reminder that now is the forever opportunity to enter the experience of the beautiful.

Often we do not love ourselves very much. We all have an inner child that we keep hidden away. We and it have become cynical about love. Cynicism arises from woundedness. There isn???t anyone in the world who has not been wounded by love.

I often take this inner child out to be with it on these special days of the remembrance of love. This is an angry child but he is still the child of this heart. I take him in my imagination to a sanctuary. This is a place I call Quan Yin beach. Quan Yin is a Goddess of Compassion. It is on the shore of eternity. On this shore that is the ocean of compassion I let him play. I let him be.

I am a great advocate of self love. I am an advocate of being kind, being caring, being appreciative of this ???little me.??? If I do not express kindness to this self then I cannot be kindness to others. I can only love my neighbour because I love this little me??? and ???mine.???

When you do this enough you begin to ???be loving.??? You begin to be the perfume of love. You transcend the idea that love is something you do or give. You come to the realisation you are love. When you know this the blessing is here. You have arrived at your true power. You have arrived knowing that love is not something you get. It is something you either allow or do not allow. It is the free flow of your essential self. You either block or you do not block.

On this day do not compare or contrast.

Do not think that this person has more or less love than you. This is not a competition. It is not a kindness. No one has walked in your shoes. You are unique. You are as Marianne Williamson reminds us in her wonderful book, ???Return to Love,???

???Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

It is not just in some of us, it is in everyone. And as we let our light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." ~ Marianne Williamson

Rather than believe this, know this. ???Who you are??? is the knowing of this. You are the knowing of the essential. You are courageous beyond words. You have come as a complement of the Beloved. You have chosen to experience the falling out from love.

Rather than being the experience of ???original sin??? you are the ???original blessing.??? As Alan Watts the English mystic says, ???God has fallen asleep in you only so he might experience the joy of knowing love on awakening.???

The negative conditioning that runs around our heads keeps us out of our hearts.

For this one day do not criticize or chastise yourself. Do not analyse your feelings, actions, motives. Be free of goals. Be free of expectations. For this one day lose your head and come to your senses. For some part of this day go and do something you love. For some part of this day relax into your body.

For some part of this day simply be silent. Love happens from the silence of a heart at surrender. This is why love is so scary. We fear we will get lost. We fear we will lose control. Still we have to ???let go.??? Let me encourage you to go a little crazy. What you do with your life and love is no one`s business. Go skipping, blow bubbles or simply dance in the privacy of your room. Be moved. Cry if you need.

There will come a time when you know you are a being of the timeless. In this experience of the timeless St. Valentines Day is every moment. This is because the Beloved pours love into the soft animal of your body for this eternal moment. You never need anything because you are everything. What more is needed than ???everything????

You have in that moment recognised your soul. You have in that moment ???let go??? and ???let be.??? You become the wondrous being of love and light that you are. You are the inner and the outer knowing of love. You have turned the straw of ???my love??? into the gold of ???being love.???

The marriage of souls has happened within you. You are your own "soul friend." In being this you become a friend to all souls. This is a companionship beyond time and space. Yet it is ???here and now.???

You can then companion other souls. You break bread on the journey of life with the other. You become the knowing of the other as a being of light and love. You commune together in whatever way your being speaks through your body.

This is the true St. Valentine`s experience. It does not happen on just one day of the year. It is happening now and forever. You are the love and the Beloved. You are at one. When you know this you have come home.

Until that time I remind you that you are loved beyond measure. You may not feel this right now. As one who works as an Anam Cara I say, ???I love you.??? Remember the Blessing is already here and you are it. I am simply reminding you of what you heart and soul already knows.

If you know of any other soul who would appreciate this St. Valentines Day wish then send it to them with the love to this ???little me??? and the love of ???little you.???

Blessings upon you and all those you love and do not love.

© Tony Cuckson 2005

Tony Cuckson is an Anam Cara. This Celtic term means ???Soul Friend.??? He specializes in providing insight for the spiritual journey, Blessings for YOU, words of wisdom and finding inner peace. Visitors to Irish Blessings Matter website and Tony???s Blog get the opportunity to develop a purpose driven life through articles, newsletters and other programs.

Get your free report called ???7 ways to it???s a wonderful life??? at, or go to Tony`s Blog at where you will find links to information related to spiritual guidance, spiritual coaching and spirit in business.

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