Success Through Authenticity: Harness Your ?Innie? Natural Edge

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For any inner-directed individual, much of life feels like you are a square peg trying to fit into a round hole. By forcing them to fit together, the natural edge of the square-peg is shaved off. That natural edge includes all your best traits, such as your intuition, creativity and superb listening skills as well as many other characteristics that make you a joy to be with and know.

What's an "innie" (introvert or highly sensitive person) to do? Here is a 4-step self-generating cycle that preserves your natural edge:

1) Integrity: Where are your thoughts, actions or words at odds with your best self? How are you trying to adapt or adjust to fit into situations? Whose expectations are you trying to meet? Find what doesn't fit for you, describe it well and write it down.

2) Awareness: What is this behavior costing you? How does it hold you back: in results? In connection with other people? In extra energy spent to live up to something? Find as many consequences as you can. Record them with your description.

Now you can see the issue completely right in front of you. It is easier to deal with once it is out of you and you can see it objectively.

3) Self-acceptance: Which one nugget about yourself could you accept that would make this situation disappear completely? It doesn't have to be something huge. Just a morsel that links to the prior two steps. What would it take to own that nugget inwardly at first and then outwardly and proudly? I guarantee that once you can see it and enjoy its truth for you, life gets a lot easier!

If you've made it completely through these steps, you are ready to go to the fourth and final step. If confusion or uncertainty still exists, marinate a little longer in the first three steps, especially self-acceptance.

4) Clear intention followed by focused action: Now is the time to modify your thoughts, actions and words for a positive outcome! You know exactly what to do now. It is compelling and you act without hesitation. You alter the way you show up in the world, which in turn modifies the response you get.

This is a self-generating process, because as you feel the high you get from step four, you are eager about going back to the start and do it once more around a new issue. It gives you the thrill to keep going!

Honor your own "square-peggedness" by being who you truly are! It will transform your life into one of ease and joy.

Sarah Dolliver is a catalyst and guide for inner-directed individuals (those who focus inward to restore). As founder and host of InnerVantage, she partners with "innies" to educate, inspire and empower them to share their gifts, talents and strengths with the world. Visit her online at

Sarah holds a Bachelor of Science in Management (Bentley College, Waltham, MA) and is a graduate of Coach U and The Graduate School of Coaching from CoachVille.

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