Imagine that you could boost your confidence, courage, and compassion by 100% in the next three months. Imagine that you could learn five new skills you've been dying to learn all your life. Imagine that you could finally experience the kind of intimacy, connection, and love you've been longing for.
Sounds great, doesn't it? And it's possible -- more than possible. But you might be surprised to learn that the #1 place to discover this things doesn't come from learning to be better, nicer, happier, stronger. Actually, the place seems somewhat ironic and backwards.
The #1 place to find hidden power is in your powerlessness. That's right, the very opposite place you might think to look for it. Inside your powerlessness, pain, insecurity, victim hood, and despair are the hidden goldmines of your deepest power.
Most the time people resist and avoid their powerless side because it's uncomfortable, unpleasant, and down-right yucky. But it happens upon the best of us at least sometimes, and when it does, wouldn't it be nice to make these visits not just bearable, but also transformational?
Here's how:
1. Notice the feeling of powerlessness. Close your eyes and give yourself permission to feel that feeling. Name the feeling. Is it anger, numbness, helplessness, pathetic, sadness, despair?
2. Become the "witness" and acknowledge the feeling. Witness and watch the feeling. Separate from the feeling just enough to see that it is not all that you are. Let yourself see that it is just the feeling that is present in the moment. Acknowledge that you are more than this feeling.
3. Set the intention to surround the resistance with love, curiosity and understanding. Rather than telling yourself you don't want to feel that feeling -- of anger, sadness, hopelessness, or despair -- just tell yourself that you're going to send love to the feeling instead. Recognize that this feeling is here to give you access to your hidden power, but it can only to so if you are willing to understand it, love it, and be curious about it. Breathe deeply in your heart, and even if you are feeling some resistance, just set the internal intention of love.
4. Uncover the fear, and the fear beneath that, and the fear beneath that.
Just ask yourself, "What am I afraid of in this situation/moment?" Are you afraid that someone is going to hurt you? Are you afraid of being taken advantage of? Are you afraid of not getting your way? Are you afraid of looking like a fool? Let yourself identify the fear just beneath the surface of the feeling.
Now, look more closely at that fear. Let's say underneath the feeling of regret, you discover "the fear that someone will be mad at me." So look inside that fear, and ask, "What is the fear beneath that?" Just imagine, if it were true that someone were mad at you, what would be the fear in that? Maybe you would find, "the fear that someone won't like me."
Again, look beneath that fear -- to see the fear beneath the fear. Keep digging until you find something that strikes a deep chord within you. For example, you might find the deeper fear of someone getting mad at you and not liking you is the "fear of being unlovable."
5. Once you find it, repeat it to yourself and give yourself permission to move into that fear.
6. Claim the gifts and wisdom of the fear. Just ask yourself the following questions to mine out the gold (insert your own fear into the quotations below):
* What does "being unlovable" excuse you to do?
* How has "being unlovable" served me?
* What is this situation trying to teach me?
* What lesson am I meant to abstract from this?
* How is this situation meant to show me how to better love, trust, and care for myself?
* What is it I really want in this moment?
* What am I longing for in this moment?
* How could you give yourself what you want and long for?
* In what way am I draining my power and energy in this situation? What would I need to do to call my energy back?
* What power and gifts are available to me as a result of this situation and fear?
7. Send gratitude ? to the fear, to the feeling, and to the situation ? for being the catalyst of new discovery and healing
8. Reframe and empower the situation ? Is there any other way you could look at this situation now? Find a way to reframe the situation so you no longer feel powerless, but rather you feel powerful -- you have options, choices, and possibility rather than doom, gloom and hopelessness.
9. Take new action. Take an action aligned with the power you've discovered. Give yourself what the fear revealed you were longing for.
Copyright 2005 Coco Fossland
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