If you are a pro-active, get-things-done type, sooner or later you will
come in conflict with your boss. The same sort of assertiveness and
confidence that leads you to have a mind of your own has helped him to
earn his position.
Another reality is that if you do not have some periodic disagreements
with your supervisors you are probably not being as assertive as you
should be in moving your career ahead.
These conflicts can prove to be hazardous to the health of your career if
they are not handled with common sense, says Ramon Greenwood,
senior career counselor, www.CommonSenseAtWork.com>
No one enjoys conflict, especially with the boss. But when you have an
honest difference of opinion, it is better to pay the price of discomfort and
take the risk of some penalty than to bottle up the frustration and
nagging conscience that results from not meeting what you see as your
responsibilities.
Knowing you will have conflicts, you can be prepared to handle them so
there are no individual losers.
TURN CONFLICTS TO ADVANTAGES
Greenwood says there are nine steps you can take to lessen the
damage that can result from conflicts with your boss. In fact, you can turn
these conflicts to your advantage.
1. The first step is to concisely define the issue-- preferably in writing--
so that you have a clear understanding as to what the controversy is all
about. Determine how important it is to the parties involved and to the
organization.
If it is not truly important beyond your personal feelings, forget it. Save
your energies for another time when the stakes are significant.
2. Give full consideration to the points of view of all parties concerned,
especially the boss. His responsibilities are different than yours. He
may have a legitimate reason for his opinion, which you are not aware
of at the moment. The conflict you see may disappear with an
explanation.
3. Weigh your reasons and objectives against the good of the
organization. Before you "go to the mat" on an issue, be sure you are
motivated by what you believe to be the larger interest and not just your
own narrowly defined agenda.
4. Ask for a face-to-face discussion with your boss if, after due
consideration, you still feel the difference is worth pursuing. If the matter
is not resolved with a meeting, ask permission to leave a written
explanation with your boss for his further consideration.
5. Never push your boss into a corner where he has no room for
compromise. Do not air the conflict with your boss in the presence of
others.
6. Avoid letting the matter be positioned on a personal basis. Emotions
and personalities have no place in a confrontation with the boss.
7. Be tactful. Show respect for the boss's position and responsibilities.
Whatever the outcome of your differences with him, he is still your boss.
8. Keep the matter in perspective. It is good to remember that win, lose
or draw, it is a rare situation when the resolution of an issue results in a
pot of gold at the end of the rainbow or the world coming to an end.
9. Don't pin a medal on your chest if you prevail or wear the black of
mourning if the decision goes the other way. Get on with the job. If you
have been heard and the boss still doesn't agree, be a good trooper,
support his decision, openly and aggressively. If the outlook is contrary
to your basic values look for another job.
If you can't discuss the inevitable conflicts with your boss in a free and
open manner so as to arrive at acceptable resolutions, or if such
disagreements are so frequent and painful that your life and career are
being disrupted, recognize you have a problem larger than any single
issue. It may be that you are at odds with the standards and objectives
of the boss or the organization. Or the personal chemistry between you
and your boss may be out of balance.
If you can't resolve the conflicts or live with them, locate another
opportunity. Life is too short to exist in a world of turmoil and
confrontations, in the opinion of Greenwood.
Senior career counselor for http://www.CommonSenseAtWork.com,
Ramon Greenwood is a former senior vice president of American
Express; a professional director for various businesses; a consultant; a
published author of career related books and a syndicated column