You can either choose to dwell on what happened and get stuck in the past or you can choose to start using your energy to build your future. Either choice is okay. But ask yourself which choice is the most empowering? Should you choose to start to create your future here are some tips that can ease the process.
1. See yourself in the future.
Ask yourself: "How will I look at this circumstance six months from now? A year from now? Then, "how much will I (or anyone else) really care?" Know that it will seem inconsequential when you look at it from the future.
2. Look at what you learned from what happened.
The human being is the only animal who will keep running the same maze over and over again, even when there is no cheese at the end of the tunnel. (The rat stops running the maze in two or three tries after the cheese is no longer there.) Not only will the human being keep running the maze, he will attempt to explain why there is no cheese and why the cheese will be there the next time. Okay, so things didn't turn out the way you hoped. Ask yourself: "What can I learn from this so that I can do it differently the next time and get a different result?"
3. Acknowledge yourself for the good things that happened.
Stop beating on yourself and listening to your internal invalidation machine. What did you do that was on the mark? Which parts went well? What were you happy about? Rejoice that you risked yourself and were in action. Remember Babe Ruth not only held the home run record, he held the record for the most strikeouts!
4. Get support from those who love you, admire you and will cheer you on.
Be with people who know who you really are. Share with trusted family member, friend, expert or coach. Tell the truth. Do not permit negative judgments, criticism, disparagement. Hang out with people who think you are special. (They still think you are special.)
5. Forgive yourself; forgive others; ask others for forgiveness.
Don't hang on to it. Let it go. Stop carrying on. Focus on what's next.
6. Understand that failure often comes before success, often in ways that are unpredictable.
Don't forget the many people who failed before they found success or success found them. Jack London, the author, had 460 rejections before he had his first story accepted. And, what about Colonel Sanders? I'm sure you know of many others all walks of life. Anyone who hasn't made any mistakes never stepped out of their safety zone.
7. Create the future from the possibilities that exist. Reinvent yourself.
Don't create your future based on your past. Put your mental energy -- into action! -- into creating a new success for yourself.
8. You now have a blank canvas in front of you. You can throw any color paint on the canvas, anywhere you want.
New beginnings, new doors to open. You've heard it before: when you close one door, you move down the hall and open another. Have fun seeing what's inside the rooms!
9. How to deal with the embarrassment?
Know that you are not a failure. What you attempted to do happened to not turn out the way you thought it would. C'mon now, if Bill, Hillary and Monica can go on and hold their heads up high, so can you.
10. Understand that human beings are not infallible.
They do make mistakes. Have some compassion for yourself and appreciation of what it means to be human.
?2005 Ruth Zanes has been a Business, Career and Personal Success Coach since 1985. Her broad range of experience prior to coaching includes consultant, business ownership and corporate executive for some of the world's largest corporations. Contact Ruth at: http://www.unlimitedresourcesinc.com