I got it into my head sometime in December 2004 that I wanted order a laptop computer. I thought I would get one from the hugely popular computer company that allows you to call their 800 number and custom order what you want. Presto, like magic, it appears at your doorstep in days.

Since I live in Mexico, I was forced to order from their online site-in Spanish. The company designed this site for Mexicans only. The order form required four names, a common custom in Latin America, and something called a "RFC" number. At the time I hadn't clue what that was.

I tried filling out the form the best I could, inserting my credit card number, but it would not send and rejected all my attempts. The site was insistent that I had to have four names and an "RFC" number. So I made up something! I put my mother's maiden name and my social security number on the recalcitrant form.

It went through. A customized, popular name brand laptop was on its way! Within days I would finally own a computer whose American TV commercials ("Dude you're getting a ______!") had convinced me that its brand would make my computing life complete.

The next day, the wife and I trudge down to the local Internet Caf? to check on my order.

"YOUR ORDER WAS REJECTED-BAD CREDIT CARD!"

That was in my yahoo.com inbox. Of course, I said slapping my forehead, the 4th name (Mom's maiden name) caused the bank to reject the charge.

Home we stomped to call the free 800 number, only it wasn't a free call from Mexico. I talked, screamed, cried, begged, wailed, and threatened until someone, at last, agreed he would fix the problem and send me a computer. Only it was not to be.

On their website, you can check on the status of your order. I did that several days later only to find another nasty message telling me because they could not charge my credit card, they stopped making the computer. Huh?

Back home, I went to call them again at International Long-Distance rates. This time, the wife gets on the phone because I was lying prostrate on the bed with a cold cloth on my forehead uttering curses at "Dude you're getting a _______!"

My wife spoke with a friendly person who told her the company made a mistake. They would correct it ASAP and told her not to worry.

I moaned in agonizing defeat, "Tell that woman I want to cancel the order!"

When the wife did, they told her they had already shipped the computer and that they would charge us a percentage of the computer's cost to return it as well as the shipping charges both ways. Ok. I changed my mind and said fine. Three weeks passed and no laptop. Each time I checked, there was no charge on our credit card for this computer.

Defiantly, I told our landlady, who intercepts all our mail and deliveries, to refuse anything from "Dude you're getting a ________!" Off we went to buy a Compaq Presario desktop here in Mexico (with which we are pleased as punch!).

We took our Christmas vacation in Puerto Vallarta for 12 days and, on our return, we got a phone call from an International Courier service announcing the delivery of a laptop computer from "Dude you're getting a _____!"

Shock, hysterical laughter, murderous rage?these were the emotions that flooded my mind. With the phone receiver shaking in my hand, I told this guy, "I do not want it; send it back."

To this day we have heard not a word from "Dude you're getting a _____!", nor has any charge appeared on our credit card for the customized laptop which they went to great lengths, I am assuming, to construct according to my specifications and sent to us anyway.

I expect them to show up at the door someday wanting their computer back or demanding the money. I plan turning the dogs loose on them and scream as they run for their lives, "Dudes you are NOT getting a _____!"

Expatriates Doug and Cindi Bower have successfully expatriated to Mexico, learning through trial and error how to do it from the conception of the initial idea to driving up to their new home in another country. Now the potential expatriate can benefit from their more than three years of pre-expat research to their more than two years of actually living in Mexico. The Plain Truth about Living in Mexico answers the potential expatriate's questions by leading them through the process from the beginning to the end. In this comprehensive guide, you will learn not only how-to expatriate but will learn what to expect, in daily life, before coming to Mexico. BUY BOOK HERE: http://www.universal-publishers.com/book.php?method=ISBN&book=1581124570