Okay, so you wanted to know what your boyfriend or girlfriend was doing last night. And you needed to go to the grocery store anyway, so you thought since you were 'in the neighborhood', you would just drive by his or her house. Or you called your new love and he or she didn't call you back. So you called again. And then again. And then several more times. Could you be a stalker?

We all hear stalker stories and see stalker movies, but, for some reason, we never think it applies to us! But 'stalker' behavior is more common than you would think. What is a stalker? A stalker is typically defined as someone who is overly concerned with someone else's behavior. This 'concern' leads them to play an intrusive role (seen or unseen) in that person's life. Here are some signs that you might be a stalker:

1. You drop or drive by someone's house uninvited;

2. You 'stake out' that person's house to see who shows up;

3. You go out on a 'search' mission to find out where someone is;

4. You call (with your number blocked) and hang up;

5. You call someone repeatedly until that person answers;

6. You write anonymous letters;

7. You 'show up' at that person's job unexpectedly;

8. You go through someone's belongings;

9. You read someone's text messages, letters or phone book entries; or

10. You show up places you know that person will be.

If you are a stalker or have been a stalker, it's okay! Admit it to yourself now and then stop being one. You are much too valuable to waste yourself pursuing someone who does not want you. Stop today. Live your own life. The next time you want to drive by that person's house, don't! The next time you start to call that person, don't! If you are in a real relationship with someone, let that person call you or come by your house. Find out what it's like to have someone chase you instead of the other way around!

Sonya C. Triggs is the Founder of Urban Christianz Ministries, which can be found at http://www.urbanchristianz.com. Visit her website to get articles and advice about dating, relationships and every day spirituality.