Scenario: You have taken care of the house, the kids, your husband and everything in between for years. You get a sense of happiness and joy taking care of your family, although you get tired sometimes. You husband works hard to provide for the family, so you think that it's the least that you can do. There is nothing wrong with feeling this way at all. Here's where the problem comes in: He works and works and works keeping very long hours. You never see him. He is on business trips very often and his luxurious secretary just happens to accompany him on every trip. Well you've suggested that you can take the trips with him to keep him company sometimes. He insists that the kids need you at home, you agree, you stay at home, and the conversation is over. Well, he is still working long hours and you start to express to him that you miss him being at home with you and the kids. He explains to you that he works to provide for you and the kids and that you are starting to nag him. You start to feel guilty and you stop what he calls nagging, because you don't want to upset him. Right? You are just happy to have a husband that provides for you and your wonderful kids.
Your husband has just come home from one of those long work days and told you that he is leaving. You think he means just for another business trip. He really means he is leaving you for someone else. You are in shock and your whole world has just fallen apart. You are now wondering, what are you going to do now. You start thinking about how you have kept the house up, you've taken such good care of the kids, you've made sure he had a decent meal every evening that he did make it home on time, and how you've been such a good wife. What more could you have done? The answer is ..............You could have planned for a day like this.
No woman should go into marriage thinking of divorce, but you should always have a cushion to fall on so that your butt won't hit the ground so hard if and when you fall. If you want to accomplish a goal while you are married, you need to do it! Go back to school if you'd like. Start a business if you'd like. Don't allow your husband to tell you that he thinks it's best that you wait until the kids are grown. You can wait, but only if it's a decision that YOU have made for yourself. Do not lose your total self in your husband. Do not live your life through him and for him. Live your life for you. Accomplish your goals now so that if he decides that he wants to trade you in for a much younger version, you'll be prepared.
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2005 Monica M. Burns
Monica M. Burns is a writer, editor, and expert author featured on many websites. She owns Monica M. Burns, Inc., small web based businesses for women providing self-help informational products. To find out more about this author, please visit her websites at http://www.flashbuilder.net/users/monicaburns or http://www.monicamburns.vstore.ca You may also email her at monicaburnsinc@yahoo.com.