I believe that major change and loss in our lives is a door to grow ourselves, to become more loving, compassionate and accepting towards others and ourselves. We have choices that determine what the journey will look like.

Change isn't easy and it can be quite painful. About twenty years ago, I endured the loss of a parent, a sister and a terrifying sexual assault within a two-year span. More recently, I experienced a car accident, loss of another parent, and the death of my marriage within a year's time.

During the first trio of losses, I didn't have a good map for my journey. I made some positive choices, yet I also did a lot of kicking and screaming. More recently, I chose another route. I didn't resist the change and the pain. Instead, I embraced it as a gift for transformation.

As a grief therapist, I've watched the conscious and unconscious choices my clients make. I saw that change was made more painful through resistance and running from feelings. I saw that one's thoughts about change and belief in one's ability to change gracefully were key components. If I believe the journey is going to be horrible, it will be. If I believe that I can go through the experience with more ease, less suffering and grow my soul incredibly as a result, then that's what will happen.

I also saw that these painful moments in our lives are sacred and are blessed by the presence of spiritual helpers.

Now consider this. I believe that every time we are faced with a major life challenge:

* That we are surrounded by our own band of angels, spirit guides and departed loved ones who become part of our 'team' to deal with this challenge, and to help us transform to the next 'level'.

* That these spiritual helpers are 'feeding' us thoughts, ideas and perceptions that will assist us to heal and transform, especially if we have given them the 'ok.'

* That there is incredible ENERGY that accompanies each of these life events that is available to us to PROPEL us forward into becoming more fully who we were meant to be.

* That by consciously choosing to use our spiritual help and this amazing energy and creative Life Force that comes with loss and challenges, we join the ranks of a growing collective of inspired and inspiring souls who are healing themselves and the planet.

* That we need never suffer again in the same way as we face one of these challenges because each of us is a co-creator and harnesser of this powerful team of transformers.

* That we can actually EMBRACE CHANGE and move into changes with confidence and with tools to stay focused on positive transformation; we can then pass on our knowledge to friends and family to improve their lives too.

Yet we have to be mindful and awake. We can all transform 'unconsciously.' It's a little like sleep-walking. We just let ourselves be at the mercy of the energy and hope for the best. And though I truly believe that each person is going through their life challenges exactly the way they're supposed to, I also believe we are given messages of hope for something more meaningful, something that can align us more with a life of more ease, vitality, and joy. I am grateful to my clients and to myself for showing me the possibilities and the power of believing change is a gift. And I know, with great peace, that I am surrounded by loving spiritual beings, and I can choose to transform by grace. It's a much better ride, I must admit.

Marcia Breitenbach is a therapist and presenter, and has written 2 books and made 4 CD's of original music having to do with change, grief and transformation.

Visit her at http://www.griefandlosshelp.com