What does it take to be happy? In our age of consumerism many will likely tell you that in order to be happy you have to keep up with the trends, or as they used to say in the 50's and 60's "you must keep up with the Jones's".

I think it is clear that if this were a solution to your unhappiness you likely would not have been drawn to this article. You see, the fact that you are reading this at all means that you likely are still confused about this critical issue.

The fact that you are concerned about something as simple and basic as your own happiness also says something important that many of us forget. That is that our happiness is perhaps the most important thing to many of us.

Isn't that what we try to base most of our decisions on? Well perhaps you'd like to think so but I would suggest again that if you did then again you would have no desire to read this article. You see if you reflected on each decision you were about to make and noted whether it was truly going to make you feel happy then you would already have your answer.

Many individuals "think" that this is what they do but in fact are doing something altogether different. What is that, you ask? Well in order to address this it is important to look at what it means when one says that "a particular decision makes one happy".

If you look at it closely, I think you'll find that it means that that "particular decision" fulfills something "one wants" for themselves. How often do you make decisions based on what you want? How often are you even feeling that "wanting" what you want is even acceptable? Don't many individuals live with the inner belief that "wanting" is selfish or bad?

These days, many individuals are so stressed that what they base their decisions on is not what they want but rather on what they "think" they need. In other words, their "wants" or their "desires" are left completely out of the picture.

What is the net result of all of this? Well it often leaves individuals feeling empty, unhappy and unfulfilled. Indeed it is this state of unhappiness and lack of fulfillment that I define as "stress".

So what is going on here? Well if you look closely at where your "desires" or "wants" originate from within you, I think you will recognize that they are felt in your "emotional heart". That is also where I know you will likely feel the feelings of happiness when your desires or wants are fulfilled.

To fulfill your desires or wants means to heed your emotional heart. That is when you experience the feeling of happiness or feel happy. To do less means to feel unhappy or unfulfilled. How many of you are in the habit of consulting the emotional heart in matters that have to do with happiness or fulfillment?

Well again if you're reading this article likely not as much as you would like!

In a recent article (see "Intelligent Emotions") I discuss this in greater detail.

Dr. Nick Arrizza is trained in Chemical Engineering, Business Management & Leadership, Medicine and Psychiatry. He is a Key Note Speaker,Editor of a New Ezine Called "Spirituality And Science" (which is requesting high quality article submissions) Author of "Esteem for the Self: A Manual for Personal Transformation" (available in ebook format on his web site), Stress Management Coach, Peak Performance Coach & Researcher, Specializes in Life and Executive Performance Coaching, is the Developer of a powerful new tool called the Mind Resonance Process(TM) that helps build physical, emotional, mental and spiritual well being by helping to permanently release negative beliefs, emotions, perceptions and memories. He holds live workshops, international telephone coaching sessions and international teleconference workshops on Physical. Emotional, Mental and Spiritual Well Being. Business URL #1: http://www.telecoaching4u.com