On a copywriting board I frequent, someone expressed
bafflement that several respected marketers criticized the
tone of a sales page he wrote. "Why did they apologize to
their subscribers while linking to my pitch? This approach
sells," he said.
Hype was the problem. If you use the following tactics,
many educated shoppers cringe and go elsewhere:
Overblown claims. "If You Can Write Your Name, You Can
Write a Book in 30 Days - Guaranteed!"
Overexcited tone. Lots of exclamation points, phrases in
bold capital letters with underlining and a drumbeat of
emphasis. "Programmers poured out their TOP-SECRET
strategies that you, too, can use to earn a GATES-LIKE
FORTUNE in the software business!!" "Take out your credit
card and order RIGHT NOW!"
Unsupported and extreme superlatives. "The most important
new product launch, ever."
Adjectives and adverbs you would not encounter from Exxon
or IBM. "Mind-blowing" "Exclusive" "Huge" "Incredible"
"Wildly" "Literally" (necessary to distinguish truth from
hoopla).
Exaggerations. "They've made millions under the radar."
(When most haven't made that sum and the "secrecy" is just
not having been asked.)
Sounds impressive but untrue. Calling someone a best
selling author who has not appeared on a recognized best
seller list.
Lack of qualifiers. Statements that should include a bit
of backpedaling but don't. It's really not "all," "only,"
"never," "sure-fire" or "will."
Marketers who favor a style full of hype argue that the
numbers prove these techniques succeed, whatever the
audience. When they tone down the pitch, sales drop. When
they toss decorum to the winds and reinsert that hammering
excitement and the fervid embellishments, sales return to
previous levels. Case closed, they say.
Assuming their numbers are valid, this argument does have a
point, but one of limited relevance to many situations.
Hype may sell, but it may also undercut other business
goals, in these ways:
Reputation. In whose eyes do you want credibility? Use
this tone and you can expect snickering rather than respect
from established journalists, academics, Fortune 500
companies, most people with postgraduate degrees and
colleagues who use any of those groups as their benchmark
of respectability.
Partnerships and opportunities. If you're aiming at joint
ventures with banks, universities, community organizations,
trade associations and the like, hype counts very heavily
against you. You may also endanger your chances of getting
a contract from a major publisher if that's among your
goals.
Trust. Are you aiming at a one-time sale or a long-term
customer? Hype works better in the former situation,
especially where a buyer believes they can obtain a refund
if the purchase doesn't live up to the promises.
Staying out of legal trouble. Some of the techniques
listed above either flirt with deception or cross the line
to lies. The other day I read through a Federal Trade
Commission judgment against an Internet marketer for
deceptive marketing and believe me, this is wrath you do
not want to bring down upon yourself! Make sure you have a
nitpicky lawyer to vet your copy if you favor a hyped
style.
Please note that it's possible to use a hard-hitting,
dramatic direct marketing style with descriptive bullet
points, calls to action and so on in connection with
entirely truthful and completely respectable copy.
Hype does sell. But that's far from settling the issue of
whether or not you should use it.
Marcia Yudkin (marcia@yudkin.com) is the author of 6 Steps
to Free Publicity, Persuading on Paper, Web Site Marketing
Makeover and other books on business communication. She
mentors business owners through http://www.MarketingForMore.com
and mentors organizational marketing managers through
http://www.MentorForMarketing.com. Sign up for her free weekly
newsletter on creative marketing at
http://www.yudkin.com/marksynd.htm .