Here are five seeds of a great marriage from grandmother. Tips that produced hundreds of "the good feelings" that last. You can start growing together now by talking about this before the wedding, during and after the wedding too.

First, keep expectations realistic. Because honeymoons may recur; in fact, they most likely will re-occur. You two will find ways to celebrate repeatedly, yes? Do you doubt this? No? Good.

However marriage is so much more. Isn't it nice that it's a day-to-day relationship between growing, worthwhile people? Growth, sacrifices and heartaches are three challenges you ought to expect. Let's make a plan, shall we?

Second, it's ok to say something nice often. Compliment each other on appearance, considerateness, intelligence and smart ideas. Notice the good results your spouse gets from great decisions.

Third, find ways to show affection every day. This is great even in public.

Forth, do not let the children divide you. Your shared responsibility toward them is very different from your responsibility and loyalty toward each other. Notice this. Recognize this. Embrace it and work with it.

Fifth, do not allow in-roads from in-laws. Make up your own minds. Do not let them influence you against your spouse. This can happen without anybody being aware of it. It is very subtle at times. Talk about this with each other. Observe the problems that in-laws create - and find the solutions together.

In summary these tips are about wedding planning that goes beyond the wedding day. Enjoy!

Written by Tom Downward, freelance writer and widely published author. All rights reserved.

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