One of the first things that I work on with people having
trouble with communication is to look at what and how
they are communicating with themselves.
It is very difficult to connect and communicate with
others, if you are unable to connect and communicate
with yourself.
One area that stops people are ANTS. These are
automatic negative thinking. These can be so strong that
they literately stop people in their tracks from
succeeding.
Daniel G. Amen M.D. talks about them in his book,
"Change Your Brain Change Your Life". He explains about
the different types of ANTS and how they can literately
hurt your whole body system.
These negative thoughts actually affect your deep limbic
system in your brain. When your deep limbic system is
overactive it can lead into anxiety, depression, anger,
impulsiveness and obsessiveness.
This inturn can affect your thoughts and communication
with yourself even further, creating a downward spiral.
Two of the deadly ANT's are, "mind reading" & "fortune-telling". We guess at what the others persons actions must
be and act or re-act on that assumption. It then becomes a
self-fulfilling prophecy.
It is amazing how many people will have a conversation
with themselves that can go something like:
"Jane didn't come and talk to me today. She must be
made at me. What did I do? Maybe she is avoiding me.
Maybe, she wants to promote Sally or Ted before me.
Why would she do that. I work hard and deserve the
promotion. I'll show her, she can't do that to me and get
away with it."
However, the truth is, we don't know what is happening
with Jane. She might not be feeling well. Maybe she is
concerned about a family member or friend. It could be
that Jane has a report on her mind. We just don't know,
which is why it is important not to guess and to clarify
with the person before assuming.
Considered one of the most deadly of the ANT's is
blaming. When we blame, we are filling our heads and
bodies with a poison that can destroy your health and
keep you living as a victim instead of enjoying a life you
desire or deserve. The only way to take control and
command of your life is to be full responsible for the
events around you. That way you never have to be a
puppet on a string to anyone.
This is why I teach each of these areas, to help you move
forward into a more creative and prosperous way of thinking.
Dr Daniel Amen nicely summaries the ANT's
1. Always / never
2. Focusing on the negative
3. Fortune-telling
4. Mind reading
5. Thinking with your feelings
6. Guilt beating
7. Labeling
8. Personalizing
9. Blaming (considered one of the most dangerous ANTS-that can come back to bite you over and over)
Doug Bench, who teaches the neuroscience for the brain,
has several tools to help people change their thinking
including one called, "Stomping the ANT's" in your head,
because he realizes the importance of removing them.
More and more this is being taught, because of the
consequences that come from ANT's. and how many
people's lives they destroy.
Take the time, to stomp, kill and remove those pesky
ants from your life now. I wish you all the best in your
endeavours.
All the Best!
Maria Boomhower
The Master Communicator
To sign up for a free report on "The 7 Secrets to Communication Mastery" or to learn more about Doug Bench's Science for Success Program, go to:
http://www.falconfreedom.com
Or: Master Communicator Blog
P.S. If you like what you're reading in
this newsletter, you'll love the book,
"Perceptions, How to discover what you are really seeing
and how it affects your belief system."
It's an interactive manual that takes you through the steps to help you overcomechallenges in communicating and connecting with others.
Perceptions-Understanding What you are Really Seeing.