When

When we have feelings for someone or something, we have given birth to those feelings through thought. Proverbs Chapter 23 verse 7 reads: "For as he thinks in his heart, so is he. 'Eat and drink!' he says to you, but his heart is not with you." This is an example of how bad relationships begin. What is in a person's heart is what they consider important. It is essential to understand what is in our heart and where our thoughts come from. When we discover that what is in our heart does not match what Gods word says, it is extremely important to realign our heart with Gods word. We must guard our mind, because 365 days out of the year, the devil constantly tempts us with thoughts and suggestions in our mind, lustful thoughts, which can ultimately cause the break-down of our relationship. James Chapter 1 Verse 14 says, "But every person is tempted when he is drawn away, enticed and baited by his own lusts."

How

Often we find ourselves in subtle situations which cause us to have thoughts which, on a good day, we would not follow through with. These thoughts fall into two categories: The spirit of our enemy, the devil and from the spirit of our advocate, Jesus Christ. The thoughts from our enemy usually have to do with anger, envy, strife, gossiping, committing sexual sins, vengeance, etc. For instance, if a married woman sees a handsome man and thinks to herself, "I wonder what it would be like to have a relationship with that handsome man?" This is a bad thought. Another example would be if a married man has an opportunity to have sex with "no strings" attached and he thinks to himself, "Why not? My wife will never find out." These bad thoughts are an illustration of the types of battles within the mind that people must contend with. An important note, one does not have to act on the bad thought and it is this point that is so critical to understand.

In personal relationships we look for fulfillment. In our quest for personal fulfillment, we have to put aside the things that society says to look for in a mate and focus on what God says. In Philippians Chapter 4 Verses 6 through 8 it says:

"6": Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.

"7": And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

"8": Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be anything praiseworthy, meditate on these things.

The Devil uses society to get us to buy into certain stereotypes that are against what God says is true. We should focus on thinking on truth, honesty, justice, purity, loveliness, good report, virtue and praise to God. This will keep our hearts in a state of being able to act out in a way that will attract what we seek for a great relationship with someone. Society wants us to believe that we must achieve a lot of material things in order to get the relationship we desire. Society says to look for wealth, money, power, position, looks and a determination to do well in the world. In truth, we need to make sure we search for those things that will keep our hearts pure, honest and with praise for God. It is God who blesses us and he has left clear instructions on what we need to do to complete our quest for a good, healthy relationship. After all, what we are really seeking in a relationship is someone who can complete who we are, a person who provides qualities that we need help with. The idea is to know the difference between our own good and bad thoughts in our quest for a relationship. The rest will be easy. If someone brings bad thoughts to you, then more than likely, this person is not right for you. If you can be an example for them, God may work in their life and they could change, but don't you try to change them. Only God can change hearts and minds. Just work on your own heart and be an example to others. This is what God wants all of us to do. This way, we will not allow the bad thoughts from the devil to make us take action and do bad things, just to be in a relationship with someone.

Why

It is important to know that there is a battle raging in our mind because it makes a difference in the choices we make for our own life. There is an old saying, "Knowing is half the battle." Humans are such unique beings. We have a built in desire to seek answers to our existence. In that quest for answers, we need to know Gods word to help us choose the right path to take. In comprehending the difference between good and bad thoughts, society has created a world based on laws. These laws are now becoming more and more in question because of terrorist threats, wars and rumors of wars, men marrying men and women marrying women. One law becomes a distraction for the other and in your mind, you struggle with the truth. The laws are now causing people to become more afraid and more dependent on what societies believes. With this fear, people have become less likely to depend on God and more likely to engage in depending on their own understanding. Proverbs Chapter 3 verse 5 ? 6 says 5: "Trust in the LORD with all your heart; and lean not unto your own understanding. 6: In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths."

Try this exercise for yourself. Write your answers down and keep them in a safe place to remind you to study Gods word. If you are honest, your answers will shock you.

1) Ask yourself, "Has my life changed in a good way or a bad way?"

2) Ask yourself, "Do I know the truth about Gods word?"

3) Ask yourself, "Have my thoughts been good or bad lately?"

Thoughts make a difference in our life. It is good to know that we do have control over what we choose to think and believe. I choose to believe in Gods word and I try to keep only good Christ like thoughts in my mind because as it says in the book of Proverbs Chapter 23 verse 7: "For as he thinks in his heart, so is he?" What are you thinking?

Nevada York has based one of her characters: "Pastor Ethan", in her book Mahogany's Revelation on Ethan Berry, A.K.A. "Pastor Ethan." He resides in the Bay Area of California. http://nevadayork.com