"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain." -Maya Angelou

How Much Better Can You Have It?

I have a long time friend that truly believes that bad things happen only to her. Instead of taking responsibility for the choices she has made in her life, she believes that she is a victim of circumstances, other people's treatment or just bad luck. Each email I receive from her is a continuing saga of one bad thing after another occurring. I noticed over the last few months that the frequency and the severity of these events are increasing. I have also noticed that there is a direct correlation between the number of things she complains about and the number of "bad things" that happen to her.

In listening to my friend, I have become more mindful of things I complain about. Last week I was called for jury duty and was selected to be on a jury. It was the 5th time I have been called, and the 4th time I had to actually serve. Of the group of people that were assigned to the court room along with me, I was the only one that had actually served on a jury. While we were going through the jury selection process, I was 'complaining' to the others about having to serve so often and wishing that I would not be picked again. Only 6 jurors were selected out of 20, and I was the last one picked at the end of the day. On my way home that night, it struck me that my complaining had something to do with my selection! What one focuses on, is what one attracts and I had focused on what I did not want -being selected for jury duty.

Do you know someone that is a constant complainer? What does their life look like? What are they attracting with their complaints? Do they seem to always have something go wrong? Complainers believe that someone else is at the steering wheel of their lives, and they are just along for the ride. Here's a statement I heard this week from T. Harv Eker, author of The Millionaire Mind: "Complaining is the worse possible thing you can do for your health and your wealth." The truth of this statement really struck me, and the question I asked myself was, what would my life be like if I stopped complaining? Even though I make a point of expressing what I am grateful for each day, I do slip in a complaint or two! As terrific as my life is, the question is how much better could I have it?

Take a look at your own life. How often you do complain about something or someone? What would happen if you stopped complaining? Is there any downside? How good could you have it? Take the challenge and find out!

Here are some actions you can take:

-Pay attention to the number of times you complain about something each day.

-Pick 2 days and commit to no complaints for that time period. See how you feel and what happens at the end of the 2 days.

-Incorporate this new practice into your life on an on-going basis!

Copyright June 2005

As a Life Transition Coach I work with clients to identify what's most important to them and prioritize around these values. I help my clients identify and remove obstacles in the way and bring clarity and focus to their dreams. What is your dream? Are you undergoing a major transition and not clear where to turn? Call (972-306-4489) or email me, (coach.v.miller@verizon.net), to set up a complimentary, no obligation 30 minute coaching session. Download my FREE e-Book, 12 Fun Ways to Change Your Life, or sign up for my FREE monthly newsletter at http://www.thrivingthroughchange.com