Q. Does a friendship quiz really work?

A. That depends upon what results you are seeking from a friendship quiz. If you are seeking to learn how to become a better friend, then the real results are found more in understanding the lessons that are hidden in the question rather than trying to pick the right answer. In fact, if the friendship quiz is well designed, the answer to each question will be very apparent without even having to guess.

There are certain well-defined traits that make a person a good friend, and there are other "variable" issues that get thrown into the mix.

Some of the well-defined traits include loyalty, honesty, the ability to listen, and the ability to understand your friend's feelings. A friendship quiz should give you a way to measure whether or not you have those traits.

These kinds of well-defined traits are easy to work into a friendship quiz. What's not so easy are the "variable" traits that I mentioned. For example, knowing when to "butt out" of your friend's business is a trait that no friendship quiz can measure. Likewise, knowing when to say "No" to a friend's request is another vague concept that no friendship quiz is likely to be able to quantify.

The real issue is: Do you actually need to take a friendship quiz to figure out if you are a good friend? Maybe yes, maybe no. If you think of the friendship quiz as a "checklist", then you can run down that checklist to see if you seem to be meeting the basic requirements.

However, if you "fail" the friendship quiz that doesn't mean that you aren't a good friend. A friendship quiz, like any quiz, has a built-in bias since it measures what the quiz's author thinks are valuable traits of friendship. The author may be all wrong in that the friendship quiz may measure things that aren't important to you and your friends.

My advice is to consider a friendship quiz as an "entertainment only" device and not something that will cause you to become a hermit if you don't score 100%.

The best friendship quiz is one that only your head and your heart knows the answers to. Treat your friends like you would want to be treated and you won't need a friendship quiz to keep score.

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