What do women or men want out of a relationship? I know I want a man who really loves me, and the feelings are definitely reciprocated. I want to grow old with someone. In a nutshell I want my soul mate. Is this the way most women and men feel?

As the 21st century takes over, I noticed that most women and some men are looking for their sugar daddies. They want someone to give them money when they need it, pay all their bills; survive just to take care of them. I know some women who quit their jobs because they didn't need to work, and they didn't want to work. They had a man who gave them money and supported their every whim.

Is this what we look for in the dating scene now? Forget about wining and dining me, and romantic walks on the beach, and staring into my eyes full of love. What happened to the romantic dating scene? I miss it.

I'm an independent woman, and it's not necessary for me to meet a man who is going to pay my bills. I wouldn't mine him paying my rent a few times, and I'd do the same thing for him. I believe in giving and receiving, and that's the way I feel.

There are women who only look for men who are driving a very expensive car; his clothes are reeking of money, and he's carrying about a thousand dollars in his pocket. Is this the kind of relationship you want in a man? Women, do you want someone to just spoil you rotten and give you everything you want and deserve? Of course he's getting everything he wants by giving you the world and then some and you're giving him your body in the process. Is this what a relationship makes? Do you feel like a prostitute because he's giving you money, and you're giving him your precious temple as your body? You should feel like a hooker because this defines what you are.

You have to be very leery of men you just meet on the street who is bearing gifts of money. He's telling you that I want to sleep with you, and those are the facts. How cruel is that?

I went to a bar the other day with a friend. I just wanted my favorite drink, a Matai, and to unwind. I hadn't been out in a while, so I wasn't looking to find my next prince charming. I just wanted to have a relaxing time, and chat with a friend of mine I hadn't seen in a while. It was a good closure issue for me, and I was having my favorite drink all at the same time.

Of course men were there and they were getting their Mac on and trying to get their groove on. A few spoke to us, but we dismissed them with just a wave of our hands because we just didn't want to be bothered. My friend and I didn't come to the bar to meet men, but this is the philosophy of what men think. We just wanted to have a good time chatting.

There was one woman there looked to be very young, and she was dressed so whorish that men kept coming up to her the entire two hours that we were there. She was showcasing too much of her breasts, and the men were eager to get her in bed. She was also a gorgeous woman, but she didn't need to put out the proof that I'm easy and here I am. She could have worn a turtle neck sweater, and the men would have been glad to talk to her. Why give away the cheese before you can attach the bologna to it?

I shook my head at her because she had it going on and then some, and didn't even know it. You don't need to advertise or tease a man. Be confident in yourself, and the rest will follow.

At the end of the bar this man was telling this woman that she was the most beautiful woman in the world since diet coke, and he had plenty of money, and he'd take her wherever she needed or wanted to go. Now I'm listening to this and thinking he's full of bull. Let me state the facts in this scenario:

1. The two of them just met.
2. What does he know about her?
3. What does she know about him?
4. What does he want from her?
5. What does she want from this relationship?
6. Does he just want a booty call?
7. Is she a woman who will sleep with this man for money?
8. Is he playing games?
9. Does she want a real relationship?
10. Is she searching for a sugar daddy?

These are the questions you ask yourself when you're searching for your soul mate. In my situation I'm not out to play games and if you told me that you were going to give me money, and take me anywhere I wanted to go, then what do you want from me? Do you expect me to have sex after you take me out to dinner, the boat, and give me some pocket change? If so you and I are going down the wrong path? We truly don't have anything in common.

The woman at the bar left with the man. He was going to take her to the boat and spend money on her. I knew the two of them would end up in bed together before the night was over, or in the wee hours of the morning.

If this is your choice with a man, then you have to deal with your morals, and remember someone giving you money will never last until you find the will to move on, or he finds someone else to buy. You probably won't be with him for a very long time, and if you're thinking about getting married, it's out of the question that he's going to propose to you.

Again, what do you want from a relationship? If you want a serious one, then you won't be in a bar searching for a man because men in bars are only looking for a booty call, someone who doesn't think too much of herself, or just doesn't give a damn.

Another friend of mine went to a bar and met someone. They talked for hours on end, and she thought maybe he was the one. She gave him her telephone number, and then they went their separate ways. My friend met another friend and she decided to venture to another bar a few minutes later. When she got there she spotted the same man talking to another woman, and getting her telephone number, also.

My friend was appalled and very angry. She was so mad she walked up to the man and threw the slip of paper where she had written his telephone number in his face, and told him to "drop dead." Of course he was speechless, and the woman was staring at her as if she wanted to kill her in cold blood. It was an embarrassing situation, but this is what you find when you pick up men at a bar.

It's a game with them trying to hunt down as many telephone numbers as they can, seeing if they're going to get ever so lucky tonight. It's a pastime, and we as women can't get angry when we're at the bar letting them get away with it. I go to bars to truly have two Matai's and leave. I don't want to be bothered with a man because I know the same line he's feeding me is the same contour he's feeding about ten or fifteen other women. Is it worth it?

I speak for myself because it's not in my persona. I have met men, but not at a bar. If so, I just don't give them the time of day because I know their strategy and I'm not falling for it. So again are we searching for love or money? We also have to remember that money is the root of all evil so no good can come of finding a man with money. Why? Here are a few reasons why:

1. The money is going to run out.
2. He's going to get tired of you after a while.
3. It's time to move onto another woman.
4. You stop giving him what he wants, and then the buck stops.
5. You can't depend on his money forever.
6. You're not a whore, slut, or tramp for any man.
7. He's just not worth it.
8. I'm independent, and I don't need a man to pay my bills.

Are you going to wait until you find your mate who loves you, and shows you in every way possible? He's sharing his worldly goods, and you're doing the same thing. The two of you are in synch together. You're so in love with each other, the declarations come in tears, the engagement, the wedding and reception, and then the honeymoon. This is what I'm searching for in a relationship. I want this scenario and the entire bowl of cereal and I won't settle for anything less. Ask yourself this question, do you want the same thing?

Or is your goal to have a good time with men, and get everything you can possibly get out of them before the money wagon ends? If so then you're searching for money, and more power to you. Of course the money is a gift to you, and it can pay some of those never ending bills. I hear women say all the time, "if you don't have an expensive car, or money in the bank, and lining your pockets, then I'm not giving you the time of day." So when you ask this question, do I want love or money? In this scenario the money wins hands down.

In my scenario I'll hold out for that romantic, happily ever after love. (1,700)

My name is Carol Ann Culbert Johnson and I love to write. Please visit my website: http://www.freewebs.com/jcarolann. Read about me, and my debut novel, I CONFESS about love and relationships.