Selling isn't something you do to people, it's something you do for them. If you feel as though you're being pushy or twisting arms when you are interacting with prospective customers or clients, you might be doing just that. To be successful in sales, you do need to be in control of the sales process and you do need to ask important questions, but you don't have to be obnoxious, overbearing or demanding.

Look at selling as an opportunity to create value for prospects. A good salesperson uncovers needs that his customers or clients have-needs they might not be aware of on a conscious level--and helps them meet those needs or find solutions to problems or potential problems. When you sell in this way, you are providing a valuable service to your customers and prospects that they might not be able to find elsewhere. Why shouldn't they value a professional provider of products or services as much as, or more than, they value an investment broker, an accountant, attorney or financial planner?

Psychologists teach that when you are unhappy about the circumstances of your life, your job, or your relationships; you can make changes that will reduce or eliminate these negative feelings. You can accomplish this not by expecting other people to change or the circumstances that affect you to somehow be altered, but by changing what you can control-yourself and your attitudes. If negative attitudes are blocking your sales or personal success, you need to ask yourself the following questions:

1. What new attitudes or ways of thinking must I develop to reach my sales objectives?

2. What negative attitudes must I convert to more positive views?

3. How should I look at myself and my present situation or assignment with my company or firm?

Formulate honest answers and write them down. This exercise in self-examination can be painful since your ego may feel discomfort at being questioned. Unless you are willing to ask these questions and honestly explore the answers, your old attitudes will continue to block your professional progress and enjoyment.

Once you determine what your new attitudes will be, you need to write them in the form of a positive, present tense affirmation. (EXAMPLE: "I look forward to finding products that will meet my customer's needs.") Then you must read them aloud at least twice a day preferably in the morning and before bed at night. Repeating this process on a daily basis will help you reprogram your subconscious mind until the new attitudes become an integral part of your values and self-image. To receive detailed instructions on how to program your mind for sales success, check out my new manual at:

http://www.TheSellingEdge.com/Organizing.htm

VIRDEN THORNTON is the founder and President of The $elling Edge?, Inc. an Ohio consulting firm specializing in sales and sales management training, personal coaching, advisory services and publishing. Clients have included Sears Optical, Eastman Kodak, IBM, Service Linen Supply, Bank One, Jefferson Wells International, and Wal-Mart to name a few. Virden is the author of the "best selling" Building & Closing the Sale, Prospecting: The Key To Sales Success and Close That Sale, a video/audio tape series published by Crisp Publications a division of Thompson Learning. He has also authored a client acclaimed Self-Directed Learning series of sales, coaching, telemarketing, and personal productivity manuals. To obtain a substantial discount on two of Virden's latest books, 101 Sales Myths or Organizing For Sales Success, go to: http://www.TheSellingEdge.com/book1.htm.

NOTE: You can contact Virden at: virden@TheSellingEdge.com or check out his detailed biography at: http://www.TheSellingEdge.com/bio.htm