Just a few critical distinctions can supercharge your communication skills:

1 Appeal To Peoples? Values

Values are the criteria by which people make sense of all the information they must process before making a decision. In simple terms, your values consist of what is most important to you.

When you ask someone: what is most important to you about ....? They will tell you their values. Let's say you ask them their career values, what is most important to you about your career? They might answer: money, approval, and winning. Speak to them in terms of these values and you will have their attention, talk about what is not important to them and don't be surprised if they fall asleep!

In the case of this example if you wanted to hire this person, you would grab their interest by showing them how they could have more money, approval and win more often with your company. If instead you talked at length about the modesty, politeness and punctuality of the workforce you would be wasting your time.

2 Let Go

Have you ever wanted something so much that your nerves got in the way of expressing yourself clearly? That rush of excitement just seemed to burn out some critical speech circuits!

When you absolutely need to be at your persuasive best ironically you must also feel that you can walk away from the deal or discussion without getting what you want. Developing emotional detachment while still pursuing your goal is a powerful skill that more people could do well to master. How can you let go of the feelings while still wanting the goal?

Run through the scenario again and again in your mind, and see everything working out in your favor. Picture it, hear it and feel it going your way. Only when you have visualized this in great detail are you ready to let go.

Ask yourself: could I just let go of wanting this to happen? Spend a few minutes asking this question until you feel at peace about your goal, when you feel at ease you will know that you have let go.

Letting go is vital if you are to be at your persuasive best. The best influencers prepare emotionally in advance of the big event, you now know how to join them.

3 Be Persistent And Count To Ten

I once worked for the best salesperson I have ever come across. I could never figure out what it was he did differently to everyone else. What was the secret to doing so much better than everyone else?

One day I asked Paul what his secret was and he told me. He said that he will listen to *No* ten times before he even considers giving up on a prospect. Whereas most salespeople grow weary or give up after hearing No the fifth time, Paul is only getting started!

I took on board his philosophy and immediately found that I was catching more of those tricky sales as well as enjoying the selling game a little more. Be persistent with a smile on your face and count to ten!

Peter Murphy is a freelance business writer. He publishes a free weekly ezine full of practical tips for communicating at your best under pressure. All new subscribers receive a free e-book with powerful strategies for being at your best.