There is a huge sexual movement going on. It's not about gay pride. It's not about sex among the elderly. It's not even a hidden Viagra agenda I'm speaking of. Today, it's all about the asexual a.k.a. the person who has no interest in having sex. Does this sound like you?
Case Study
*Monica is 24-year-old woman who lives a healthy and vibrant life. She has a
satisfying job as a registered nurse, loves to swim, and is in a new 8-month
relationship.
What's unique about her relationship is that neither she or her boyfriend are
interested in having sex with each other or anyone else for that matter. They are
what they describe as "asexuals", and where many physicians and psychologists
would call this a problem that needs to be addressed - Monica and her boyfriend
feel it is a just a part of who they are and there is nothing wrong with it.
"There is absolutely nothing wrong with us. Me and *Jim have just never
experienced sexual attraction. It's not like I'm a woman who use to enjoy sex and
now I don't. That could very well be hormonal. In my case, I have never had a sexual
attraction for anyone - male or female. I enjoy snuggling with my boyfriend, going
out with him, and all the other non-sexual things couples do."
Coming Out
Interestingly enough, it seems as if Monica and her boyfriend are not alone. What
was once something that many people kept to themselves is now coming out of the
closet and members are happy to finally be able to find each other and to define
themselves as asexual. Asexuality is emerging as a new sexual orientation.
"I'm kind of glad there is a name for this. I didn't feel broken, just different, and I
didn't know what to call it. Now slowly but surely I'm finding others who are just like
me. Like this guy who started this website - http://www.asexuality.org/home/ - for
people like us."
The Growing Debate
Of course there is growing debate in the mental health and medical community
about the term asexual. Some professionals believe that people who do not care
about sex at all are either experiencing a physical, emotional, or hormonal problem.
There are many who define humans as "sexual beings" who should normally desire a
sexual relationship with their partners.
Positive Proof?
People who are asexual feel that this is incorrect, and that is just the effort of
medical professionals to tell them what is wrong with them in order to fix them. Or
it is just out of ignorance that many professionals don't know about this community
of people. But slowly things are beginning to change. Concrete research is
something most professionals will accept as proof of recognition.
In a study conducted last year (2004) by Anthony Bogaert, a psychologist and
human sexuality expert at Brock University in St. Catherines, Ontario-- results
concluded that 1 in 100 adults were asexual. That can be defined as 1% of the
population which is not too far behind the 3% of the population who are gay.
Celibate or Asexual?
People who are asexual want it to be known that there is a concrete difference
between celibacy and asexuality. Someone who is celibate is someone who has
chosen to abstain from sex - Asexuals have not made that choice. Just as the
heterosexual didn't choose to be attracted to the opposite sex or the homosexual
didn't choose to be attracted to the same gender - neither has the asexual made a
choice - it's just the way they have always been.
Is this a new thing?
The only thing new about asexuality is the fact is that there is finally some scholarly
study and research beginning on the topic and therefore it is receiving more media
and therefore public attention.
"There is quite a bit of circumstantial proof that people who have lived decades,
even centuries, ago were asexual. This is nothing new - its just getting its fair share
of publicity - finally!"
Learn more about asexuality: http://www.asexuality.org/home/
Find an asexual support group in your area: http://asexuality.meetup.com/
The next United Asexuality Meetup Day is on September 3rd.
Famous asexuals:
Sir Issac Newton: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Isaac_Newton
H.P. Lovecraft: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/H.P._Lovecraft
Would you like to talk about your asexuality? Talk to an advice expert at
http://www.girlshrink.com/advice.html
Lisa Angelettie, M.S.W., is a psychotherapist, author, and an online advice expert.
She has been helping people make smarter life choices since 1998. Visit her for Advice & Counseling, or take a free Depression
Screening today. Subscribe to the growing self-help ezine Better Choices.
Contact info: info@GirlShrink.com
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