How can something that feels so good be so wrong? Isn't being in a committed relationship the same thing as being married? Many teenagers are faced with these questions when it comes to making the decision whether or not to have sex. It's kinda hard to say no when you are in love, engaged, attracted to or committed to someone. So why should you wait? Here are some reasons why:
The Purpose of Sex
Simply put, God's purpose for sex was so that human beings could have children. He gave us the commandment to 'be fruitful and multiply' (Genesis 1:22) and, as an extra bonus, he made sex pleasurable for both men and women. Men and women are uniquely designed to enjoy the sexual act with one another and a significant bonding occurs when a couple has sex. But the effect is not equal! Women feel one thing the morning after and men feel something entirely different.
What Happens When You Have Sex
One of the hormones released during sex is Oxytocin. Oxytocin causes a person to want to touch and be touched. Oxytocin also causes a person to become emotionally, physically and emotionally bonded to the person he or she has had sex with. So, both men and women feel close to their partner after sex, but men also produce the hormone vasopressin, which causes them to feel 'responsible' for the person they have had sex with. It's a good thing when that man is married, but not when he is single. The last thing most single men want to feel is 'responsible' for a woman they are casually dating. Sometimes, that that feeling of responsibility may drive the man away if he is not serious about the person he is dating. Because of these hormonal interactions, women usually feel more 'clingy' after sex and men seem more 'distant'.
Teenage Pregnancy and STDs
Here are some of the other potential downfalls to having premarital sex: In 2000, 84 out of every 1,000 females between the ages of 15-19 became pregnant. This is not to say that you do not want or would not take care of your child. But wouldn't want your child to be in a home with both parents, if at all possible? So, you can get pregnant or you could cause someone to be pregnant. Or, you could get a Sexually Transmitted Disease (STD). Here are some frightening statistics about STDs (From the Pure Intimacy Website):
* Approximately 18.9 million new cases of STDs occur each year.
* Forty-eight percent of new STD cases in 2000 were among 15- to 24-year-olds.
* There are currently more than 25 types of STDs; some are curable, others are not.
* In 2000, approximately 822,000 pregnancies occurred among 15- to 19-year-olds.
* Seven out of ten adolescent mothers drop out of high school.
God's Plan
God created sex so that two people could take pleasure in the marriage experience. He created sex as the perfect bonding experience so that a couple could grow strong together, bond with one other and create a loving home environment for their children. When a couple has sex, they truly become 'one flesh', meaning that they are spiritually connected with each other. In the 1 Corinthians 6, we are reminded that you are joined as one flesh with whomever you have sex with. That chapter then goes on to say that all other sins are committed outside our body, but having sex outside of marriage is a sin against our own bodies! And you wouldn't want to hurt yourself, now would you?
Remember - the act of sex causes a person to become physically, emotionally, and spiritually joined with every person he or she chooses to have sex with. No matter how good or bad he or she treated you, no matter if you still are friends with that person and no matter if you wish you had never met him or her - you are connected.
So, the next time you are faced with the decision of whether or not to have sex, think about it carefully. Make a decision to honor and respect yourself and the person you are involved with by honoring God's word.
Sonya C. Triggs is the Founder of Urban Christianz Ministries, which can be found at http://www.urbanchristianz.com
Visit her website to find articles and advice about contemporary Christian issues such as dating, relationships and spiritual growth!