I often ask myself this question. Not in the times of prosperity or when everything is going great. But, in the times when I feel alone or everything seems to be stagnant. There has been this lurking question underneath all the good times and all the bad times. When life is going great, I sense that this is what life is all about. In the bad times, I have to wonder if this is what life is supposed to be.

I believe that many of us have asked this question. Some of you have searched and others have not and just gave up. I used to be one that searched. I thought maybe if I can get through school and get a particular job or date this person, maybe get married or have some children: then this would answer the question. The problem was that I kept coming up short and wasn't convinced that this was all life had to offer. The cycle went something like this?I had an idea then I would try it?it would give temporary happiness then I would end up disappointed, frustrated, alone and then some time later I would start back at square one.

Still there was this nagging in my soul. I often tried to shut it up by drowning it out with loud music, alcohol and partying. Or I would continue to keep myself busy with work so that I wouldn't have to deal with "it". It worked for a while, but it would still come and "pester" me. I went through some counseling and thought that I needed to deal with some of the painful events of my past: which I did and it was extremely helpful. But there it was, never satisfied, always coming back.

I was convinced that there was nothing on this earth that was going to satisfy this longing, so I broke down and began to pray. The next few weeks changed my life forever. Believe me, I never imagined that I would be writing about this or even writing at all. I met a man. Not just any man but someone who promised to never leave me. He told me that when I committed myself to him at the age of 14 that he was in it for life. He told me that I forgot about him but that he never forgot about me. He said that I didn't have to go through this life alone. I told him that it sure felt like I was alone. I told him that I was pretty angry with him for not stopping some really bad things from happening to me. He began to cry and said that he understood because he had been through some really bad things himself. Well that wasn't good enough for me?I wanted some answers. I wanted to know "why"?

He said, "I love you and I want you to come back home". I told him that I couldn't because I was ashamed and really confused. I didn't understand how he could still love me after all I had done. I told him that I was scared of him because I thought he was going to punish me. He kept on saying, "I love you so much, I want you to come back to me, I don't care about where you've been I just want to be your friend and love you like no other." Finally, it hit me. He was right: he never left me. It was me who left in search for purpose, for excitement. I forgot that I had met him so many years ago. He told me that he would never let me go. Then, the "nagging" stopped. I looked up and saw the King with his outstretched hands saying, "come home, my child, it's been way too long". I ran into His arms and will never be the same.

There is a parable in the Bible that depicts a man with two sons. One day one of the sons went to his father and asked for his share in his inheritance. The father gave his son what he had asked for. The boy left and squandered all that he was given in foolish living. After his money was spent, he realized that he had nothing, not even food to eat. He decided that he would return home to his father, confess his sins and ask to become a servant. While he was on his journey home, his father saw his son and had compassion on him. The Bible says that his father ran to him and embraced him. The son quickly confessed his sins and told him that he would no longer be a son, but a servant. The father looked at his servants and said, "Hurry! Bring the best clothes and put them on him. Also, put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. And get our fat calf and kill it so we can have a feast and celebrate. My son was dead, but now he is alive again! He was lost, but now is found. So they began to celebrate." (Luke 15:22-24 NCV)

God is so good and gracious to us. He loves you so much and there is nothing that you can do that would separate you from his love. God's grace is truly amazing and his touch will send your spirit soaring. I don't know how to put in to words how much he cares for you and longs to wrap his loving arms around all the pain and mistakes in your life. He tells us to come as you are. If you're dirty, he will give a bath in his amazing grace. If you're ashamed, he will give you honor. If you're broken, he will restore you. If you are confused, he will give you peace.

All He wants is you. Will you call to him today? Just wanted to tell you that if you've ever had that longing deep in your soul: that there's got to be more to this life, rejoice! The King is requesting your presence. This is one appointment that you don't want to miss.

If you would like to find out more about God and the gift that he has to offer you, I urge you to contact me through my e-mail and I would love to share this with you. May God bless you. keisal1@yahoo.com

Alison Keiser is employed as a counselor and works with at risk youth at a local hospital in southwest Virginia. Her desire is to write for the kingdom of God.